The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am hanging in. I don't know if my body it but I am doing the best I can. My parents are leaving Arizona and plan to be at my house Thursday night. Any prayers for a safe trip all greatly appreciated! My dad intends to let my alzheimers mom drive :( but will be awake. Step one for me on that one. I just got off the phone to him and we talked about how my mom's alzheimers has gotten worse. Now, dad doesn't want to call it alzheimers anymore either but I said, well whatever she has it is just like alzheimers and we can deal with her behaviors just like people do with alzheimers people. I have met some wonderful people here that have loved ones with the same disease and I just told my dad that. I assured him that this site is confidential too but don't know if that mattered to him. One example: my dad is using a suitcase of my aunts and my mom is obsessing over it and thinks it must not be packed in the car. Dad opens the suitcase to show her the contents and she calms down. He took it out of the packed car and keeps it open now so she can see the contents and will put it in the car right before they leave. She wants everything packed exactly how it has been packed all the other years. Another example: A while back mom quit playing bridge. She was with her friends as usual and had a problem. They sat her at a ROUND table and she could not even deal the cards out. :( They finally moved her to a SQAURE table where she must have been able to deal the cards out. My dad assumed my mom has told me these things. I told him that she has not told me any of this stuff at all. He is worried about her wandering off and getting lost. I told him that I feel better too that they are moving to North Dakota this week. It is a much safer place for mom to wander off and has a much lower crime rate and population. I assured him I would be there to help out whenever I can too. Remember my dad is also suffering from congestive heart failure too now and he does also have Parkinsons which I always seem to forget to mention. They were both born and raised in ND.
This past week, I have had times of uncontrollable crying. It is all about grieving the loss of my mom's mind since she is not the same person. I am also grieving my dad's continued health loss as well as them leaving the place I was raised in since the 60s. I am hoping HP/God has allowed me to do this before they come so I can be stronger when they get here.
I got a call at 6:30 am this morning that there is another Powder/anthrax type incident where husband works. Well, it is normally not anthrax but usually meth or some drug. Haven't heard from him yet, but I am good at detatching with some things.
My recovery alcoholic daughter called at 1:30pm and woke me up since I didn't go to sleep until after 7am. She had dropped her kitten off her earlier and right now the little stinker is jumping up my legs and has very sharp claws! grrr LOL She called to tell me she was fired today from her job. The insurance compamy where she works found out about her driving record and had the place let her go. I assured her that we would support her emotionally and that this is just the natural consequences of her "using period" and things would soon go off her record. She mainly wanted me to talk to her dad before she sees him so he doesn't YELL at her and I assured her I would do the best I could.
MY daughter could use some major prayers too! She has been doing so well with her sobriety since she went to treatment about 3 months ago. She seems strong but last week she did struggle with her sobriety.
Well, that is about all for now folks. Time to detatch, detatch, detatch. I could go on but other things seem so simple compared to what I just typed. Like this little kitten with the sharp claws LOL
Thanks for your support and for listening. Your friend in recovery, cdb :)
I know when everything seems at it's worst, I have to find one thing to be grateful for. If I am having trouble even finding one thing, I keep it simple... Like looking at the birds, or a stream. Sometimes, it making sure I eat RIGHT (so easy to go for the junk or whatever's quick!), when there's no time to do anything else and it's the only way I can be good to myself. Hang in there.
I am grateful alanon and this board :) Because of what I have learned in alanon from working my program and how it has changed my life for the better, I am able to find things to be grateful for :) One thing today is being able to post here, share and vent :) Another is all the friends I have made here :) I am off to the clinic to get blood drawn and I am grateful my health is good enough to be able to get out of the house and enjoy the outdoors :) Thanks for your replies,,, cdb :)
((((((CDB))))) you and I got the blues and it aint Kraft American Mac & cheese blues either LOL, but life is good are kids are alive our spouses OK and OUR GREAT HP& FRIENDS are with us everyday even if we sometimes wake up and forget to take our Blinders off. You Know dear friendmy house has been up sidedown and for once not cause of my A, he is doing great or has me snow jobbed. I hope things are better for atleast 10 min for us today well is for me right now cause I am typing to you and that is a form of serenity for me!!!!! I love ya Carolee you are in my thoughts and prayers and we will get through this the best we can together! love ya
Oh my sweet friend. Big hugs to you!!! I can totally relate to the sudden blues and so on!!!
Everything will be fine, keep thinking that!!! Speaking for myself I often think of you parents, kids, hubby and especially you!!!
You and your family are in my prayers and good thoughts alot!!!!!!!
I have tried to read this post severla times and keep getting interupted GRRRR! Why do you think that is??? Don't know!! Especially when I just slipped you a note to ask how you were.. HMMM Well all my love your way. Hang in there.
Thank you cloud, sooner and jj for your loving replies. WAIT Until you read my newer post above! YIKES. When is rains it pours. cdb going to bed now. xoxoxo hugs
I can only imagine how difficult all of this is to you. It is great to see that you realize it is all out of your control. (That doesn't stop us from feeling though).
Had to laugh when you wrote of the kitten. I have three of them 9 weeks old. One other is in its new home, but these three are still here with their Mom. The little monsters are nocturnal and at night when I try to sleep, they use me as a jungle gym, and my hair as yarn.
I have to admitt they are stress busters. I do love playing with them. They are great little hocky players, they love the tops off of plastic milk bottles as their puck.They will chase anything and my dogs (the big cowards) are petrified of them.
My point is while it will not make any of the things going on with your parents or daughter go away, why not try playing with the kitten, or cuddling with it. Maybe one of Gods little creatures is a stress buster he had your daughter deliver right to your door.
I asked daughter for her permission today to take the kitten to the vet to get it's claws trimmed. It will cost $8.00 which is probably less than the antibiotic I will need to put on all these scratches! And we don't have baby clippers to trim them with. I could enjoy her more if she would not be so hyper and listen better. I am being consistent but the stinker has the personality of my daughter. Sorry, if you read my reply above you will see I am not having a good morning. I am going to take a nap now. Thanks for your support. cdb
