The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi everyone, this is my first time every searching out information on this website. I live with my family and brother who is a 25 year old alcoholic. It is not a social thing. He has no friends and drinks alone at home all day, everyday. He has no life outside of drinking. He cannot keep a job or be social because if he does not drink for a few hours, he seizures. It has been hard on my family for the last eight years. I am not sure whether al-anon is for me, or whether it will help me at all, but I decided to come here and post, because I feel very alone, like there is no one I have heard of in the same situation, and I am searching for someone who is because I need ideas and support. I am not sure why it is affecting me so much tonight of all nights, but if anyone has any advice or a similar situation I would be happy to hear and I am hopeful to learn more about this group, steps, meetings, etc. Thanks.
You have found the right place. Here's some parts of Alanon's preamble that you'd hear at meetings. This was helpful to me when I first came to Alanon.
Keep coming, keep posting, lots of experience, strength and hope in this program.
Maria
We welcome you to the Al-Anon FamilyGroup and hope that you will find in this fellowship the help and friendship we have been privileged to enjoy.
We who live, or have lived with the problem of alcoholism understand as perhaps few others can. We too were lonely and frustrated, but in Al-Anon we discover that no situation is really hopeless, and that it is possible for us to find contentment and even happiness whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.
We urge you to try our program.It has helped many of us find solutions that lead to serenity.So much depends on our own attitudes, and as we learn to place the problem in its true perspective, we find it loses its power to dominate our thoughts and our lives
The family situation is bound to improve as we apply the Al-Anon ideas. Without such spiritual help, living with an alcoholic is too much for most of us.Our thinking becomes distorted by trying to force solutions and we become irritable and unreasonable without knowing it.
The Al-Anon program is based on the Twelve Steps (adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous), which we try, little by little, one day at a time, to apply to our lives, along with our slogans and the Serenity Prayer.The loving interchange of help among members and daily reading of Al-Anon literature thus makes us ready to receive the priceless gift of serenity.
Al-Anon is an anonymous fellowship. Everything that is said here, in the group meet-ing and member-to- member, must be held in confidence. Only in this way can we feel free to say what is in our mind and hearts for this is how we help one another in Al-Anon.
The Al-Anon Family Groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength, and hope in order to solve their common problems.We believe alcoholism is a family illness and that changed attitudes can aid recovery.
Al-Anon is not allied with any sect, denomination, political entity, organization or institution; does not engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any cause.There are no dues for membership.
Al-Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics.We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic.
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Welcome MMMBop...... I do believe you have found your way to the right place and I hope you keep coming back. We don't offer advice here, but will share with you any ESH (encouragement, strength and hope) that we have that may help you. What you are going through is painful. Alcoholism is a family disease-it effects everyone that is in the Alcoholics life. I would suggest trying to find an AlAnon meeting in your area if possible, and if there are none we have online meetings here. Also some literature on Alcoholism would be a great help in understanding what you are dealing with when it comes to this disease. My favorite is Courage to Change, a daily reader, but there are many others to choose from. Again let me welcome you to MIP, please keep coming back-this program truly does work if you work it:) You are not alone:) Shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
WELCOME TO THE MIP FAMILY... YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT PLACE...
So Glad you are here...
See I to have an ABrother... He will be 30 in July, he has been an alcoholic since he was about 15... He wakes with a beer, sleeps with a beer, works with a beer,and he also has other Addictions, basically what ever he can get the funds to get a hold of...
I would suggest a great book called "Getting the Sober"... I recently purchased it for myself, and it shoud also help you see a little more into what you Abrother is doing to himself... Remember.. He isn't doing it to YOU!!!! That was a Hard one for me to grasp... For it Always felt like he was, but once I got into this program and started to really Understand Alcoholism, and what the Disease is really about, I can now go back to Loving my Brother, with out being his enabler...
If you would ever care to Instant Message please feel free, just hit my name and it will take you to my IM...I know what it is like to watch someone you love do things so horrible to themselves, but the main thing is that YOU Take care of YOU, and let him Take care of himself, How he see's fit... It isn't for us to tell them what to do, that is us trying to be God... I don't know about you...But I have No desire for that Job...lol... and when HE is ready...It will be his own choice...
Soooo Glad you are here, I hope that you keep coming back, for this Program Can/will, change your life if you are ready to do something for your self, and Detach wit Love... Also Al-anon has SOoo many Wonderful books, Daily Readers (Hope for Today, Courage to Change)... Amazon Carries A Lot of them... Check them out if you can... You wont be disappointed...
Take it Easy, and Go Slow... You will get were you can see more clearly... One Day At A Time...
I go with Maria....Keep coming...Keep positing and reading the other posts will help you learn how to take care of you and put your "sun screen" of boundaries up to keep distance from his behaviour as needed..
Having an alkie in your life is tough..Some of them are blood and its harder to be detached from them but we CAN....I have 2 Alkie brothers whom I love...Dumped the husbands/ boyfriends, but the brothers, I just set limits on how much I will tolerate their crap and thats it....I take care of me....when they get to be "too much", I leave the conversation or set a boundary in another way..
The first suggestions for al-anon are to find a face to face meeting in your area (try a few different ones, at least six if you can find that many) that way you can find your favorite group or one in which yue enjoy the members. There were some meetings, where I didnt particularly like certain people & ended up learning something from them. Pick up the pamphlets & study them or u can purchase some literature there, just ask the meeting chair/moderator. You can put your number on a list & get a copy, so you can call someone when you need to talk.
My first book was One Day at a Time but I also really love the 12 Steps for Adult Children.
We have a chat room here that offers 24/7 chat, so u can talk to someone else who perhaps has had similar experiences as you. Our personal circumstances might be different but we all have similar stories to tell. We also hold 2 daily meeting in the chat room.
Meeting schedule: Monday-Friday...9 am and 9 pm EST, Saturday: 10am, 9pm EST(newcomers)and 9pm EST, Sunday: 10am and 7pm EST. _____ UK +5 hours, central -1 hour, mountain -2 hours, pacific -3 hours. Open chat all other times.
Know that you are not alone YANA. The support & love here is very great, hope u stick around & give it a chance for yourself.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
My sister (the younger one) is an alcoholic. She started drinking at 16 and never stopped. She is now middle aged. She has gone through phases where she was practially dead to now being a functioning alcoholic. Few people if any in the family discuss it with her but nevertheless it is a huge topic as its so obvious she is an alcoholic.She has two children who are no doubt very much affected by her addiction. She also has a husband who is at best codependent.
I had a great deal of grief, rage and frustration about this much of my life. Al anon has helped me enormously to not personalize this struggle, to set limits, to be able to view my interactions with her (which are pretty limited at best) and to detach. Detaching can indeed help you enormously. There are many many resources for you in al anon literature and pretty much any literature on codependency as well as alcoholism. I urge you to seek support, care and understanding for yourself. You do indeed deserve that.
