The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Sometimes I get my heart knocked out of joint when I think of all the friends in my life that have come and gone. Some of them really hurt me especially to let go of them. I am finally seeing that some friends only last for a season. I have had so many of those kinds of friends. But I guess that they have moved on because maybe I no longer "need" them. I guess what I am trying to say is that some people are only there when we need them. Some are there for the long haul & stay with you for times when they don't want to be anywhere else but with you. Hopefully in my life I have found friends who just like or love me the way I am. God doesn't make junk & maybe I am worth the struggles I have had in the past & sometimes today & probably in the future! I hope everyone will be a friend to someone today even if it is only one day & not a lifetime! I know I need friends for in this world we are not supposed to be alone. God made us that way! Kathleen
When I was in my early 20's a wise man who I had a great respect for told me something I doubted at the time. His statment was: "Rodney, if you can fill up one hand with true friends during your lifetime, you have had a successful life". I did not grasp the true meaning at the time. I was young and had more good friends than I could count on my hands and toes at the time, I thought.
As I look back I can see the wisdom of his statment. Filling up one hand with true friends is not as simple as it seemed at the time. Even good friends have come and gone during my life for numerous reasons. As I was writing this post I stopped for a minute and counted my true friends that I have been able to depend on through good times and bad, through thick and thin duing my life, and guess what, it is one handful (five). But, those relationships have been a two way street over the years, and I have always tried to do more for them than they have done for me. It has to be that way or it won't work. You have to always be there for each other. A true friend must always have time for a friend. The bottom line, friendships are a lot like this program, both require hard work.
I am so blessed and thankful for my true friends, and grateful that I am on their hand also.
"Sometimes I get my heart knocked out of joint when I think of all the friends in my life that have come and gone. Some of them really hurt me especially to let go of them." I can really relate to this statement. I had a friend in high school that I thought was closer than a sister and we went through a misunderstanding that was never reconciled. I didn't get over it for a long time and I finally had to let it go and turn her over to God.
True friends, today, I can say are only in the program. I have lost most of my "normal" friends because of being married to alcoholics and their misadventures and my being married to them. I guess in some situations I can't blame my friends for turning their back on me, I had turned my back on myself.
I lost the friendship of a lot of close cousins this way too. I have second cousins that were like siblings, because I am an only child, that won't speak to me this day, because of the reasons I mentioned earlier.
I'm sorry this is such a negative post. I guess I should quit, I'm having a bad day. Sorry.
When I was in my early 20's a wise man who I had a great respect for told me something I doubted at the time. His statment was: "Rodney, if you can fill up one hand with true friends during your lifetime, you have had a successful life". I did not grasp the true meaning at the time. I was young and had more good friends than I could count on my hands and toes at the time, I thought. As I look back I can see the wisdom of his statment. Filling up one hand with true friends is not as simple as it seemed at the time. Even good friends have come and gone during my life for numerous reasons. As I was writing this post I stopped for a minute and counted my true friends that I have been able to depend on through good times and bad, through thick and thin duing my life, and guess what, it is one handful (five). But, those relationships have been a two way street over the years, and I have always tried to do more for them than they have done for me. It has to be that way or it won't work. You have to always be there for each other. A true friend must always have time for a friend. The bottom line, friendships are a lot like this program, both require hard work. I am so blessed and thankful for my true friends, and grateful that I am on their hand also.
HUGS, RLC
RIGHT on!!!
some folks are in my life for a REASON some folks are in my life for a SEASON some folks are in my life for a lifetime....very few hit #3....The ones who did not last??? I can thank them for the good...the lessons I learned....and MOVE ON....Some breakups were acrimonious...some friendly...some through death.....how ever it ended, I believe God sent these "non lifers" to me for a good reason....I just have to look for it.....
I agree very few hit #3, and those that do are "priceless", just like this program.
HUGS, RLC
Oh yea, folks ask me if I am rich and I say YES...."rich in love"...I have good people who really love and care for me...now THAT is, like you said "priceless"...and yes, "just like this program" it has literally saved my life
I have learned to love the very wide variety in my friendships. Also, some of my closest friends are the ones I see rarely but keep in touch with via facebook, letters and email and then visit once in awhile. I also love all the ages of my friends- some are much older and some much younger. We were meant to have all kinds of people around us, I agree.
My main goal in life has been unconditional love and I feel so fortunate to feel I am getting a little bit better at it. Great topic- hugs, J.
I love the below which has helped me so much when I am confused:
A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.They may seem like a godsend, and they are.They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.Sometimes they die.Sometimes they walk away.Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.What we must realize is that the need has been met, the desire fulfilled; their work is done.
When people come into your life for a season, it is because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.They may teach you something you have never done.They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.Believe it!It is real!But, only for a season.
Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
You should always thank whoever it was for being a part of your life for whatever Reason, Season or Lifetime. Source: Unknown
__________________
If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Thanks for all who posted on this. I hope to have more friends for a lifetime! All of you are people who give a darn enough to post at all. Thanx for all you do to make my day! Kathleen
