The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've only been here about 5 months, have a WONDERFUL sponsor, went to one f2f meeting and can see progress in ME!
My A is also a sex addict and I think at his worse right now. People keep telling me Oh I saw him at this bar with this person...I do't even care. I know he is sleeping with 3 other people and you know what? I don't even care anymore. He is beyond sick and I can't help him. Im minding my own business and not worrying about him. When he doesn't come home at night it doesn't even surprise me anymore because I never expected him too. Having no expectations was a bit hard at first, but after a few times it gets easier and easier and really works wonders! I still expected him to try and continue sleeping with me and so when he did I had a plan ready to tell him no once again expected he would look all sad like I was stabbing him. I don't understand it, but still no expectations help!
I surrendered him to my HP a few days ago after a long time of not doing it. I've tried before, but I just don't think I was ready to do it. He took down all the pictures of my daughter from the walls..I didn't let it get to me. I put them in the cupboard. I had my daughter go stay with someonse else she doesn't need to go through this stuff.
Once I finish writing this post my cell phone should be fully charged and I am going to make a call to transitional housing to see if they have a room for me and the kids to stay in. Im going to ask HP to sit in on the call with me. Im going to go outside just in case my A wakes up. And the old me would have been really hurt and upset by having to give up and leave him, but the new me knows that this is the best thing for us all right now! Im pretty calm and just taking things 10 minutes, one hour whatever it takes but never longer than 24 hours at a time.
He called and canceled the internet Saturday..but it's still on. SO I am not sure if he actually canceled it and they just haven't done it yet or if it was just all a lie. So if I quit posting or going to chat it's because it shut off and I wil try to post here every now and then to keep everyone updated until I get o my feet and internet back!
-- Edited by Melissa21 on Monday 11th of May 2009 11:33:42 AM
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"Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." Will Rogers
I'm so glad you are in such a good place (mentally) right now. WAY TO WORK THE PROGRAM! It sounds like you are doing what you need to do for you and your kids - congratulations, you are a strong individual. Please keep us updated, even if it takes you a while to get to a computer.
Okay well I just got off the phone with a few people. They want me to go to some shelter for women and children that are homeless and since he keeps telling me to leave they said I can consider myself homeless. I have an intake appointment in 2 hours. I asked if I could wait till the weekend so I could pack my stuff up and put it in my friends garage and she said I can come and go as I please till 10pm and they would like me to sleep there tonight. So I guess that's what I am going to do and have called a friend with truck and garage and she should be able to help me tomorrow moving stuff. So I texted a few others and told them to bring me boxes!! :)
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"Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." Will Rogers
I know that this has to be a very tough time in your life, just remember "This Too Will Pass", you are following your direction and your program well. Looking out for Yourself and Your Children is Always #1... Good for you...
I am sure you will find tons of information at the shelter, of places that may have available housing of some sort, and it would be a roof over your head a safe one.. You are sure Shining in your strength.. Keep up the good work, and of course... Keep Us Posted as You Can :)
Love & Prayers to you and your children Friends In Recovery Jozie
Wow Melissa, you are really strong. This takes a lot of confidence in yourself and your higher power to do. I am really proud of you. A big step on a wonderful road to taking care of yourself and your kids and putting your welfare first! I am inspired! I just hope if a time comes for me to have to take a step like this, I will have the bravery and trust in my HP to do the same!
((((((((((Melissa))))))))) I am so proud of your progress
and glad you are not sleeping with him as now it is DANGEROUS....Aids kills..Herpes maims you for life
My A brother had this sweet girlfriend and he slept around on her and got herpes in his eye and (not sure where the other place is...One can guess)....Anyway, she found out about it and thank God dumped him in time!! She did not get his disease....The ONE good thing he managed to get, he lost...His drinking and sex rules his life...She decided to kick him out and move on....
I see your story and I applaud you for taking care of you...
thanks all for your replies and prayers. I just got back this really isn't a place I want to go to. I can only stay there 2 weeks then they find me somewhere to go for 6 months and then by then I should I have an apartment of MY OWN!! One day at a time. It's hard and I've been crying a lot today, but I know my life can only get better. He doesn't know what I am doing and wont until he comes home to an empty house!!
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"Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." Will Rogers
WOW, you are figuring this out, i am proud of you. very inspiring! take care, good luck and keep moving forward in your recovery. only the best is yet to come! SINCERELY, tonya
You have grown so much in these few short months. I am so glad you are taking care of you and your children. 