The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am feeling very happy, because I am standing on my own two feet finally. Tonight, was the passover supper at my sister's place, my husband said, that he would not come with me. I applied the Live and Let Live, and I went by myself. I had a very nice evening, and when I came home, I did not feel any resentment towards him, because I took care of myself first and my own needs. I feel proud of myself, because it is becoming more natural to take care of myself. "It begins by me, and changing the things that I can change to be happy. If I did not have Alanon in my life, I could not understand, what a gift it is, to let it begin by me first.
When we know better, we can really do better. I just thought,that I would share a growing experience, because if I can do it, you can too!! Thanks for hearing me out, and it really is possible to give to ourselves, what we expect others to give to us
Congratulations Teddy, we can be so empowered by making our choices that are healthy for us... In turn, it allows us to grow individually and become stronger each day when recognizing our accomplishments and ability to take care of ourselves. Keep in mind that there will be days that you go back into your old patterns of thinking, fears will creep up and we will have triggers from emotional pain caused by past circumstances in our life. I found that by working on recognizing those triggers as soon as they occur, that I can apply the techniques I use to address them immediately and provide comfort to myself at that same moment.
The behaviors we have learned our entire life must be UNLEARNED and it is a process. Although, I still have days of anxiety that exist after 9 years of "doing it on my own", with anxiety at times, the days shorten to only hours or moments of anxiety, in which I pray to God to get me through it. Over time, I have found it becomes MUCH more natural to not react as I had always known how to react when presented with those feelings.
We'll all have these days. You are on your way to a truly healthy recovery. Hang in there and continue to be strong.
Thank you so much, to all of my friends, who answered my post. I really felt like I was on a high last night. I am aware that sometimes I have it, and sometimes I do not. For sure, old patterns die hard. When I think of my lifetime patterns, and how I put myself last...it is a completly new attitude to assume. One thing for sure....when I see my husband always taking care of himself first, it helps me to keep the focus on myself, and REMEMBER to put my own needs first.
For me to say NO.... isn't always easy, yet I am working on that too. Thanks for being there, and thanks for the encouragement, and wise words.
One thing for sure....when I see my husband always taking care of himself first, it helps me to keep the focus on myself, and REMEMBER to put my own needs first.
Good for you teddybear. I was in my sisters kitchen yesterday celebrating my nephews 12th birthday and I thought, thank you God for this day.
before alanon I would have sat home with my A feeling sorry for myself that I didn't go visit because hubby did not want to go.
And yes, in all things he puts himself first. I will take a clue from you and have that remind me to put MYSELF first too.
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Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
Good for you!! May you have many of these days!