The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Actually, I don't know that I simply THINK I have a bad attitude- I KNOW this.
I consider myself a high strug person to begin with, so I'm not sure that the field/job I am in is the correct one for someone who is easily stressed. Most of the time I find my job exhausting. I must manage alot of different things and am constantly caught up in needing to make people happy, but adhere to certain guidelines set forth by my company. There are always a ton of projects going on at any given time and I must always be on top of my game. Blah. Blah. Blah - poor me. (I sound like I'm whining don't I?)
I'm CONSTANTLY forced with situations/problems that I have little/no control over but, must in turn perform damage control. The industry is built solely on complaints which is exhausting and really requires an abundance of patience, I dont think I possess.
I really want to be able to MANAGE myself and my stress at this job, but I constantly find myself trying to adjust my attitude that more often than not, is just BAD, tired and annoyed.
By the end of the week I become short tempered and agitated and I begin losing my cool over people and things I cannot control. So many different character defects come into play here. I am afraid of conflict so I find it often excruciating confronting people. There is this part of me that feels timid and unworthy of and even shameful when I stand up for myself or ask others to do something that is their job or that is just simply POLICY! I often feel BAD for doing my JOB! Its uncomfortable confronting people I would much rather be passive which I find myself doing at times, when I dont want to deal with a full on confrontation OR conflict resolution. I can FEEL the lack of self confidence, maturity and unprofessionalism that arises when I DONT deal with something head on.
It seems at times when I am forced to I do not do so patiently but, with anger and irritation and find myself being short and agitated.
I'm not even quite sure what I am trying to express here - except I guess I am asking for some E,S&H in adjusting ones attitude and wondering if anyone else has ever felt timid in such positions professional or personal? Sometimes its just a general discomfort, a feeling that I dont have the right to be questioning someone or asking them to do something.
Thanks for listening everyone. I am grateful to be here.
Wow, it really sounds like your job is a fantastic opportunity to use the program.
When I first started working, I was very insecure and am not that friendly or out going... well I became a hair stylist and talk about excruciating - I didnt even like to introduce myself to others. Well, I had to pretend & act at work. I decided to pretend I was an actor and I was to act like a hairdresser -- so that I could take me out of it and become this actor person, that really wanted the job. It worked for me.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Work can be exausting, but like Kitty stated, it is what YOU make it... You know all these things about your job, but yet they still effect you in a negative way.. Sounds as tho a Little possitive in your life, may also help you get were you need to be mentally to do your job... A wonderful place for me when I am were you are is a F2F "face to face" meeting... They help me bring back my focus, and help me realize I am there to do a job, so I do it, and when I clock out, Its done.. and I move on...
Another Huge Help for me is the Serenity Prayer... God... Grant me the Serenity to except the things I Can Not Change (Poeple I work with, the Policy's, people around me), the Courage to change the things I can (My Attitude, My work ethic, my performance), and the Wisdom to know the differance...
Take what you like and leave the rest.... Keep Coming back :) It Works if You Work it :) Love & Prayers Jozie
I am on a job (2 days per week) where the sons like me (i am on site pub. accountant) and the old man (dad) does NOT really like me but he likes my work....
so yea, he can be "testing" my program tools sometimes....i just ask me "ok, what am i doing here for what reason???" i am there to earn money to suppliment my SS and to do a good job....thats IT>..
my job does NOT define who i am....I DEFINE ME!!!!! so the job is a JOB....just a means of making extra money because SS is not enough.......i leave...i leave.....i leave it behind me when i am on my off days......
i also practice a lot of detachment when the "ole man" is on a mood.....like as long as i am doing my best??? i put it in HP's hands and i DETACH......he cannot get a "rise" out of me and actually is easing up on me because a..i am not afraid to stand up for me when needed and b...i don't let him "yank my chain"...
You sound as if you work retail like I do! I have been working with someone who is constantly in a bad mood. She has another 3 weeks left and will be moving on. The problem is that her bad mood is affecting others and their mood, including mine. We are prepping for inventory and that is never fun. Well yesterday all she did was complain, text message and generally did barely any work. It drove me crazy.
Here's my point: I had 2 choices: 1) let her bad mood really get to me or 2) make the best of it. I choose the latter. Nothing changes if nothing changes. I had to change my attitude and accept the fact that I am stuck with this person for the next couple of weeks. I blocked out her bad mood. I concentrated on the tasks at hand. What she continued to do or not do was none of my business. I am done with her. That doesn't mean I can't make small talk, but I will no longer be drawn into drama. If she wants to be that way, so be it. I have other stresses in my life that I don't need this.
If you really like your job and field then find a way to make the best out of it. If you don't, perhaps that is telling you something. The bottom line is you have the choice to make it what it is or isn't. Kitty is right. She's a wise grasshopper. Take all those Alanon skills you have learned and put them to good use in your work. I take my tool box where ever I go. I never leave home without it. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Thanks all for your responses thus far. I am still open to any E, S & H on this topic. I greatly need it! I am actually a commercial property manager and manage multiple building complexes that house businesses, so you can imagine the constant requests, problems, maintenance concerns on the TENANT end and then needing to respond to my boss and our accountant about managing costs, lawsuits, bills, etc.
And my people pleasing probs really come into play with my boss, as I find I am CONSTANTLY trying to do things that SHE is pleased with, rather than doing that which I believe to be the best decision to solve the problem at the time. I am so terrified of making the wrong decision. Often when she questions me as to why I chose to do something some way, I find myself back tracking, trying to justify, instead of simply stating why I did and standing behind my choice.
-- Edited by RunnerChick on Thursday 7th of May 2009 01:02:07 PM
Another thing that helps me in the work place is to remember, it's business, not personal -- so when you do have to confront or another task that perhaps isn't "you" -- u can seperate it from your personality.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
