The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello my dear family, it is a while since I checked in here.
Some of you will not know me at all, some of you will remember me as the new 'gal' on the block and some of you might even have missed me.
To one and all, I say, it's good to be back in the embrace of the family.
I have had sooooooooo much stuff going on...hospital appointments, visits, physio, consultants...medical tribunal, legal court case to ride out, personal and family traumas and break-throughs and much much more.
I have even taken on a sponsorship through Alanon and was surprised by that request and joyful opportunity of servitude to another in crisis. It has all been a very crazy learning curve as well as a wonderful time of growth for me. My Sponsee has been a blessing as well as a challenge and I am thankful that I have been able to do my twelth step in this way...
Then, I just got back from my Wednesday morning group, where I do more service, and have taken on some of the leadership too, to find a heart-warming surprise on my door mat.
A POST CARD, all the way from OREGON...hey Debilyn...I missed you too and had not seen you on the board for a time before my absenteeism and YOU reminded that I still matter here in this family...
I love you so much, and have so many members here that are so so precious to me I just wanted to tell you that YOU and all the members of this family M A T T E R to me, even if I am overworked and over busy and very stretched at this moment in time. I still remember you in my daily steps...and will not forget you...however it was so good to know that I am not forgotten too.
I may not always be here writing, reading, listening, supporting, caring and commenting and sharing, however not a day goes by that I hold this family close to my heart.
Back but for how long I do not know, my daughter is in desparate trouble with a pregnancy that is no going well...bleeding, cramping, all day nausea and the ever present threat of loss...and who has she turned to...me.
The relationship is working whilst I step back, let go and continue to let her go at her pace and just BE THERE for her. No-one else is and she has begun to show me on a daily basis that she is accepting me AS I AM and letting go of the past in her own time. Her perceptions are changing...some of the lies are beginning to crack and peel away and she is SEEING me for the first time instead of the me that had been maligned by a very sick sick belligerent drunk (her father).
She has also started counselling...and that is a major breakthrough as some of you will know...ONE DAY AT A TIME I support her and point her in the direction of the step programme and programme tools without appearing to lecture or rile her...yep, my God ( my truly amazing higher power ) is working for and with and through me and I am keeping myself closely shielded by that wonderful higher power that has seen me thus far in the programme and on my way.
I just want to encourage any one of you to realise that things happen given time...and it is not necessarily in the time span that YOU might think is appropriate...it is in the time span of our higher powers...for me that is my God - as I understand Him.
I will take what is given out to me today...I will go no further than today...I will trust in God as my higher power and I will continue to walk this road to recovery second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, DAY BY DAY...here I am waving to you all and saying, "Family, I love you, I am making headway through the storms of life and I am sail that tempest toward a true safe harbour where-ever that may be."
Today, I am here with you for you all to see, but do not think I am not with you if I am out of sight...truly I can say, with my hand on my heart...I am here and always will be.
Thank you, and Debilyn, thank you for bringing me home again.
Love Suzannah
__________________
Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Suz, it is good to see you again. I have missed you. Please keep coming around. We do love you. We do miss you. We do value you. And we want pix of this grand baby.
I'm so glad you popped in to update us. I can well understand the busy life. I've been unemployed for a while now (just started a part time job) and have really pushed some of my issues so I can resolve them.
I'm sorry to hear you are not well.
I well remember the trials you had with your daughter and am glad to hear that you are using the al anon tools to work a better one. I really only knew enmeshed till I got here.
WOW!! Suzannah you've been standing in the sunlight and look at how tall you have grown. Meeting, service, sponsorship and practice...I'm soooo impressed. You are being blessed and in turn those around you are being also.
(((hugs))) for your daughter...My step daughter goes thru pregnancy that way. It makes me feel very very fortundate my mother didn't get her gender wish. OMG!!!
Thanks sooo much for stopping by and sharing your ESH and growth. Go put more flowers on Heartbroken's grave. Long may she rest!! LOL
((((((((((hugs))))))))))
-- Edited by Jerry F on Wednesday 6th of May 2009 03:10:07 PM
Suzanna, i remember you!!! i kinda had "disappeared" from here too, but i am "back with a vengeance" as they say, LOL...
yea, i missed this place and another nice member said "hey Rosie, come on back, the board ROCKS with great people"....i did and i feel like i have come home..
So glad to see you back..Even if just for while :) I missed ya... & your IM's... You are a wise women, and sounds like you have been Workin it just fine...
Sorry to hear of your battles, sounds as tho you have a full plate, but are taking it to the HP and letting him walk you thru... Hope you keep coming back and sharing your wisdom :) For we all need you here :)
Will keep you, your daughter & family in my prayers Jozie
Oh pretty flower sister you made me cry!!Now why could I not get your box there? sigh.
I am so proud of you for working things out with your daughter. That is huge.
Of course I care about you. Drives me nuts that I can't see you and others. Lost my internet due to economy. I guess I am eligible for fix on my mortgage yet again...so that will help.
I love being back in my house. The bunkhouse was cool but my house is really appreciated.
You sound good Sue. I know life is tough. Do you have flowers yet? Are you painting?
How lovely to hear from you, I am so happy for you and your daughter,how soothing that must be to the pain you've gone through to have her realise some of the truths. I will pray for her safe delivery. Suzannah you have been missed I always think of you, my guiding light on those stormy seas. Your home group and sponsee are so very lucky to have you at the helm.
