The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I come and visit here every chance I get, reading all our situations, which are all different but so painfully the same, I think about you all during the day and how brave, caring you are.
The energy it takes to function in the environment that we find ourselves in, the love it takes to "walk the line" with our addicts. The things that are a given to most people, such as small talk of a "normal" day with no drama, we just want to hear our addict speak clear without that tell-tale slur, or hostility that comes across their lips to break our hearts, to hear the telephone ring and see the caller ID and our breath catching in our throats, not from anticipation of hearing from our loved one, but from what has happen now?
I have to repeat this many times
"And God who gives the beginning gives the end. A rest from broken things, to broken to mend".
It's hard when we're in that place of "walking the line" with our alcoholic or addict, to detach and not play the old tapes of dysfunction. Turning things over to our higher power is what I find works best for me. Annie Smith's journal says, "you must turn as much as you know of yourself over to as much as you know of God".
Annie Smith was Bill Smith's wife, before the steps were written, she was a real spiritual leader in the beginning of our program. This makes sense to me because I struggle with how much I know of myself and how much I know of God. And I think it is the real key to detachment. Let God and Let God. Turn your husband over to his higher power and put yourself in a safe quiet place of serenity.
Turn off the phone, don't look at the caller ID, step out of the drama, live one day at a time and realize the hostility that comes from their lips is part of the disease and is not directed at you, but the disappointment they feel in themselves.
Good luck to you and your saying is great!
"And God who gives the beginning gives the end. A rest from broken things, to broken to mend."
The things that are a given to most people, such as small talk of a "normal" day with no drama, we just want to hear our addict speak clear without that tell-tale slur, or hostility that comes across their lips to break our hearts, to hear the telephone ring and see the caller ID and our breath catching in our throats, not from anticipation of hearing from our loved one, but from what has happen now?
This is so true. I can be very envious of people that don't have addicts in their life. What helps is that I remember that everyone has something in their life that they struggle with. It might not be the same as mine but it is still difficult for them.
-- Edited by Gailey on Wednesday 6th of May 2009 02:41:29 PM
