The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ya know I sit here and it is hard to imagine the horror I went through with the A husband.
I mean now, I can just sit and listen to the frogs and see the stars,so good inside and out. Don't have to have that lump in my gut, or be all tore up.
No listening to a filthy mouth, complaining, never laughing, no one is mean to me. I like my body and my mind as is.
I can have a little dog with seven pups in a neat dog bed next to me in bed and no one is complaining or more feeling "jealous." gads.
Feel confidant, happy,caring, humble back to being me who laughs when my crazy parrot Reeba decides to get into the shower with me. Being pleased by the little things like my Great Pyrenees Sauveur coming into the utility room with huge muddy feet, lifting each paw up, one at a time. for me to wipe them off.
Serenity for me is loving such a simple life with needs met. Not wanting really anything than what I have. I don't care about fancy cars or living up to anyone elses expectations. I don't feel the need for wanting to be normal.
A's can be so down on themselves, never feel good enough, then they beat their loved ones down to feel the same.
Thank God I was self actualized before the A brought his disease. It still made a huge hole in me, but that foundation I had built did not come down.
My norm is my life now. It is familiar now, gone is the that horrible lonliness. Replaced by talking to my neighbors, going to my Kingdom Hall and informal witnessing. Keeping busy gardening, putting up new fences to again confuse everyone. I LOVE to change furniture around. Now that I have acreage, I change spaces around lol.
My garden will be a good 1/8th acre. No one will forget to shut the gate becuz they don't care. The floor will stay clean becuz no one will let the muddy dogs in on purpose. When I make a meal it is not fed to the dogs or pots.
It is amazing how the disease gets in like roots into every single part of our lives. We cannot even protect any part of it oozing in.
I am so glad it is gone. And now sunshine, puppies, good people and good food fill my life.
so accurate, Debilyn-I hear ya. I will never go back there; I am so grateful not to live with active aism. Yep, every meal, every little thing got "marked" by the horror of that disease, I know exactly what you are talking about and it was so true. Thank god for al-anon. Thanks for your post, I have so much to be grateful for this morning. hugs, J.
I'm really one year in as the first year I was apart from the A he still had me in his thrall. I welcome the peace and quiet. Sometimes I feel incredibly lonely but I do not know how to have a relationship that is healthy so I will have to wait to learn how to rather than repeat my patterns.
THANK YOU... What a wonderful share... Wish I was there with you...lol... Lord knows I am far from all that... I have my days, but then there are the "OTHER" ones...lol...
I am glad that you can now find peace in the little things... I wish we all could have that kind of thought process...I am working out the bumps myself these days, so I am grateful that someone has found the light at the end of the tunnel... GOOD FOR YOU!!!!
