The material presented
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My daughter is an AH and drug addict. She is spiraling out of control. I believe that death may be in her near future as it seems like this may be her only rock bottom. I am frustrated because everyone tells me .. there's nothing I can do. She is 21 years old and has been to rehab .. attended AA .. had a sponsor .. was doing better .. but threw it all away to only escalate her addictions onto heroin usage. I am so worried and sad, frustrated and mad, powerless!!! It is so difficult .. while technically she is an adult .. she is still such a child. She is so beautiful and kind .. but not when using. That is just ugliness .. unbearable ugliness that eats at the core of my family. I have another younger daughter who is 10. I feel like I just am not giving her enough. I just don't want my oldest to die without my having done everything motherly possible gto fight the disease. She cut off all contact about 20 days ago with me and the rest of our family. She still has contact with her boyfriend's family. he is also an addict. Fortunately, they keep me updated. Please say a prayer for her.
This is a disease and at the m oment it is running her life , and I am sorry but there is nothing u can do about her, only she knows what her bottom is . Until we stop enabling and saving them they will never reach it . Accept who she is continue to love her detach with love , and always remember that she has a HP too that will take her where she needs to go . Please go to Al-Anon prog if your not already attending meetings for yourself , u need support from people hwo understand where your at . Louise
I am so very sorry you are in this pain. I understand the fear for your daughters life and the need to do something.
Welcome, you have just taken the first step to helping yourself and your entire family cope with this terrible disease.
Your daughter has a very powerful disease. She has been to rehab and AA and has had a sponser. That is a plus She knows where and how to get help.
Alanon Meetings, that you can find by looking in the white pages of your telephone directory, are for you and anyone who has a friend or relative affected by this disease.
Here, and at meetings you can share with others who understand as few others can. You will be given simple tools and find hope that will enable you to live your life, taking care of yourself and family without being destroyed by the fear and worry that now consumes you.
You are not alone so please keep coming back. Read the posting on the board and know that one of the most powerful things you can do for your duaghter is to pray for her.
WELCOME TO THE MIP Family... We are Glad your here... You are at the right place :)
Your daughter has made the choices that she now has to live with, I know myself, when I was an Active A when some told me to quit I was hurting myself, and my family, my guilt alone, made me drink and drug more... Their constant reminders only let me to a darker side of ME... My family didn't give up on me, they just finally said... "You do what ever you see fit, but know that ONLY YOU have to live with those choices", and were they right... Like many people here, I have many regrets of my past, many of bad choices... Not to say their wont be many more... However, now that i am slowly learning to hand them over to my HP, my Family if A's are now fighting their own battles and I am fighting mine.. FOR ME...
You need to get your power back as to who you want to be, Not just a mother, but a teacher, if your youngest sees you "Helping" the A daughter then what are you teaching her.. That it is OK to do those things... Your focus should be on preventing the youngest to feeling unsafe and taught to stand on her own, not wait for you to pick up the pieces everytime they make a bad call... Put your focus on you and let your oldest and her own HP work thru there battles... It wont be easy... nothing ever is.. :) but you came here, so that shows that recovery is something you seek... Allow YOU to seek Recovery for your self and you may just find "THAT" alone is the example your DAUGHTERS need to see... A Strong Parent that loves them very much... You can do it... One Day At A Time: )
Take what you like and leave the rest... Love & Prayers Jozie
When I read your post this morning, I thought I had accidentially clicked on to my own post. As you do, I also love my daughter. Of all the post I have read on this message board, this one hit home squarely in my face.
First of all let me tell you, my prayers are with you and your family, I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. My daughter is 37 and is an alcholic and we also strongly suspect has a drug problem to go along with it. Her husband has filed for divorce. I told her yesterday that she could not come to our house. She has absolutly no place to go.
I too have your same fears. I have joined an Al-Anon meeting. They meet 3 times a week and most times, I go to all 3. I recommend you find a meeting to go to, find a sponsor and inbetween meetings, come back to this message board.
My prayers are with you today.
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Clara
------------------------------------ What don't kill you, makes you stronger!!!
