I have a mouth, when someone has wronged me or my family I spew nasty resentments at every opportunity including creating times when nothing at all has prompted it.

Last night was yet another example of my judgment spewing. Our son was feeling bad for a friend who has no job, can get no job in today's economy and is destined to go to jail today for child support he can't pay without a job. 

I immediatly judged and showered the room with negative comments that were not asked for, not needed, not deserved, not well received and only created resentment toward me for the nastiness.

My son looked at me upon hearing my unsoliciated shower of hate and said, "Just because you have always hated him doesn't mean he deserves this in his life." So I made a lame attempt to apologize in front of his brother and sister in law. 

Later my husband approached me privately and commented, "You really need to watch  what you say to others. That comment just about  sent our son into a very bad place. Just because you don't like someone, you don't have the right to tell everyone within earshot how you feel." Basically temper your comments.

Immediately I fell into both anger, resentment and embarrassment and wanted to list all the hurts others have caused me including this person.  I wanted to toss the mother in law into the mix.  I wanted to ball up every wrong I've ever had to endure and spew all my justifications out there and play the pity card.

Instead I stepped away from the situation without commenting, took time to reflect then went to my son in sincere tears of remorse to ask his forgiveness.  I said simply, "I was out of line with my comment.  You are sad that your friend doesn' t have the opportunity to make this right. I am sorry for having said my cruel comment"

My son forgave me. I felt terribly humbled to admit my error. I felt immediately blessed to receive his forgiveness.  He was ever gracious, enough went on to tell me the story about how he had made a snap judgement himself just the night before and how someone calmly and patiently checked him.

My son went on to tell me how this behavior is one place he needs to work on himself too.  How for years he has put others down  to make himself feel better.  All the while merely distracting his view from how he's really feeling.  He told me, he certainly isn't God and has no right to judge.

I felt blessed he didn't direct his comments at me but gently used his own experience so I could see where we can both unlearn this trait and how I  can benifit from this lesson.     

-- Edited by Peggy7 on Thursday 19th of March 2009 11:28:35 AM

-- Edited by Peggy7 on Thursday 19th of March 2009 11:30:23 AM