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Post Info TOPIC: Starting to breath again


Senior Member

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Posts: 259
Date:
Starting to breath again


I shared a while back that my AH wasn't letting me on this site and wasn't letting me go to f2f al-anon meetings. He is a dry drunk, not in a program and has become very controlling and manipulative. He calls me about every 15 minutes I'm out of his site and it was draining me. I called it emotional abuse and I asked an officer if I could get him to leave because he wasn't working and he's living with my mom and me and he said no this was his place of residence.

Finally on Valentine's Day eve, he asked my 11 year old daughter if she wanted him to leave, she said yes leave, I want you to leave (this is not her dad) and he left. Can you believe he would leave on the words of a child and not leave when I asked him too. I'm just glad he's gone. He has a trailer of his own and so he had somewhere to go.

I didn't think he'd call back, but he did, I should have expected it. He wanted my daughter to apologize to him for asking him to leave, I told him I wanted him to go to and he said for how long and I said we haven't been getting along this marriage hasn't been working from the start (we've been married 3 years) and I think maybe it's time to quit. He said before we divorce we should give ourselves some time to think it through. Maybe that is so, but I've been thinking it through for 3 years now and he hasn't been working for 2 of those years, so he's putting nothing into the family, but what little money he gets on trades and swaps.

The last two days have been so liberating for me I have been on this site probably more than I even need too, but it has been denied to me for so long. I can't wait till next week when I can go to my f2f meetings, I will be so glad to see them.

Thanks for listening to me jabber, I am so greatful for this site.
java

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Java (known as Overcome in chat)


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1558
Date:

((((JAVA))))
Well I am glad that things are looking up and you are free from him in your home, if that is what you have wanted, Boundry's are great, but getting back to your program and putting your focus on YOU and let the rest fall as they may... Keep coming back because it does work if ya work it, So hang in there, and keep your goals clear in your mind so you don't set yourself up for fall backs... We all have them but sometimes we can spot them easier if we are more aware that they may be sneaking up on us...
Just remember... One Day at a Time is all we can do...

Love & Prayers
Friend In Recovery...
Jozie....

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Thee Only Journey I Control Is MY Own :)

Gratitude.... Is a God Honoring Attitude! :D



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 654
Date:

   Thanks Java for sharing that.  It reminded me how lucky I am to have this place to come to, and I am here A LOT-lol......When I can't get logged on I go into panick mode anymore.  And my f2f meetings have truly saved my life......I love this place and these people........all gifts from my HP..

trying to keep it simple
shelly

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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!

Only God can turn a mess into a message.

Prayin' on it, Stayin' on it, I will survive it.

If nothing ever changes, nothing ever changes.



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 4578
Date:

Glad you have a reprieve of sorts.  Keep coming here.  I know I get great solace from this board.

Maresie.

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maresie


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 13696
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Aloha Java...Thanks for the review of how is works for many of us and had
also worked for me.  There was somewhere I could go to ge peace of mind
and serenity from the disease of alcoholism that I didn't know existed.

I'm have hope that your first face to face meeting works the spiritual magic
that it did for me.   Let the rest of it go for now.  Take recovery one day at
a time...turn yourself and your courageous daughter, your alcoholic and all
else over to  your HP and get to the meeting.  Get as much literature as
you can there...lots will be free of charge...and listen with an open mind. 
Go to as many as you can over the next 90 days before you decide if what we have is what you also want and keep coming back here.

(((((hugs))))) smile 

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Veteran Member

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Posts: 96
Date:

I hope you immediately got your locks changed!!!

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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2055
Date:

((((((Java))))))))),

Nice to see you back !

That controlling of you frightens me. Emotional/verbal abuse is progressive much like alcoholism.  Please get a hold of some literature on the subject and talk to your family doctor as well.  I'd recommend The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans.  It was eye-opening for me.

in recovery,
Maria

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If I am not for me, who will be?  If I am only for myself, then who am I?  If not now, when?
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