The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I shared a while back that my AH wasn't letting me on this site and wasn't letting me go to f2f al-anon meetings. He is a dry drunk, not in a program and has become very controlling and manipulative. He calls me about every 15 minutes I'm out of his site and it was draining me. I called it emotional abuse and I asked an officer if I could get him to leave because he wasn't working and he's living with my mom and me and he said no this was his place of residence.
Finally on Valentine's Day eve, he asked my 11 year old daughter if she wanted him to leave, she said yes leave, I want you to leave (this is not her dad) and he left. Can you believe he would leave on the words of a child and not leave when I asked him too. I'm just glad he's gone. He has a trailer of his own and so he had somewhere to go.
I didn't think he'd call back, but he did, I should have expected it. He wanted my daughter to apologize to him for asking him to leave, I told him I wanted him to go to and he said for how long and I said we haven't been getting along this marriage hasn't been working from the start (we've been married 3 years) and I think maybe it's time to quit. He said before we divorce we should give ourselves some time to think it through. Maybe that is so, but I've been thinking it through for 3 years now and he hasn't been working for 2 of those years, so he's putting nothing into the family, but what little money he gets on trades and swaps.
The last two days have been so liberating for me I have been on this site probably more than I even need too, but it has been denied to me for so long. I can't wait till next week when I can go to my f2f meetings, I will be so glad to see them.
Thanks for listening to me jabber, I am so greatful for this site. java
((((JAVA)))) Well I am glad that things are looking up and you are free from him in your home, if that is what you have wanted, Boundry's are great, but getting back to your program and putting your focus on YOU and let the rest fall as they may... Keep coming back because it does work if ya work it, So hang in there, and keep your goals clear in your mind so you don't set yourself up for fall backs... We all have them but sometimes we can spot them easier if we are more aware that they may be sneaking up on us... Just remember... One Day at a Time is all we can do...
Thanks Java for sharing that. It reminded me how lucky I am to have this place to come to, and I am here A LOT-lol......When I can't get logged on I go into panick mode anymore. And my f2f meetings have truly saved my life......I love this place and these people........all gifts from my HP..
trying to keep it simple shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
Aloha Java...Thanks for the review of how is works for many of us and had also worked for me. There was somewhere I could go to ge peace of mind and serenity from the disease of alcoholism that I didn't know existed.
I'm have hope that your first face to face meeting works the spiritual magic that it did for me. Let the rest of it go for now. Take recovery one day at a time...turn yourself and your courageous daughter, your alcoholic and all else over to your HP and get to the meeting. Get as much literature as you can there...lots will be free of charge...and listen with an open mind. Go to as many as you can over the next 90 days before you decide if what we have is what you also want and keep coming back here.
That controlling of you frightens me. Emotional/verbal abuse is progressive much like alcoholism. Please get a hold of some literature on the subject and talk to your family doctor as well. I'd recommend The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. It was eye-opening for me.
in recovery, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
