Slowly losing it! - Al-Anon Family Group

missing out · Senior Member

Slowly losing it!

Christy · ~*Service Worker*~

missing out,
It's hard to lose a constant in our lives. Whether it's a person or a habit. It puts everything out of kilter. Grief has no time limit. I don't think we ever get over it, we just learn to live with it. You're still finding your way.

Your Dad was a good person with a bad disease. It's not necessary to ponder why he wasn't good to himself. Only he knew that and the answer is most likely very complex. None of us ever have figured out why A's do what they do. If we had, none of us would be here.

You aren't doing anything wrong. Grief is a process and so is Alanon. Easy does it. Feel what you need to feel.

Christy

Mariner · Senior Member

((((missing out))))

I do pray daily, Serveral times a day, but I sometimes think that I am just not doing it right...lol... I know how can you do it wrong, but I dont think sometimes, that I am trying to hard to make things fit and yet, in reality I am just not getting what I should be...I don't know how to pull myself from this dip that I am in...I so want to understand and I so want to move forward, but is it possible I want too much to fast? Is it possible that I am Doing it wrong? I mean I am doing F2F, I am doing the message board, I am reading (2) daily readers, the 12 step book, the codepentant (which I am) book, and the list goes on... confuse

I really identified with your post. Sometimes it does feel this way, almost as though there really is nothing, there no response to prayers no connection, and you begin to get disheartend. I've felt like that for weeks now, My ESH to you is have faith, faith in yourself, the program and your HP, things WILL get better, you will find comfort and recovery. Little miracles will come your way.
The loss of your Dad is very recent and you are still grieving. I think your doing so well under the circumstances and love what you done for your lil' sis.
Remember some of our sayings.... Fake it till you make it. It works if you Work It.

With love hugs and Gratitude Carol

shellyj123 · ~*Service Worker*~

   ((((missing out))))
          I have to agree with the others on this one......grief has no time limits.....the loss of your dad you will never get over, but you will learn to deal with it on a basis that does not interfere with the calm in your life. Alcohol is a horrible disease......and it is like there is almost two different people in the A.......You've never witnessed the good side of alcoholism, the recovery side, and that is wonderful also.
          Fake it til you make it! What you are doing is right....keep doing it all. Might be time to check into a sponsor if you are ready-something to think about. If not I am sure you have a SIL who would love to listen whenever you need to talk:)
Keep coming back-it works if you work it and remember above all else......don't think about tomorrow, focus on TODAY-and take it ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!!
Love ya
Shellyj123

maresie · ~*Service Worker*~

You know I just watched the movie Things that were lost in the fire. Hallie Berry does a good job of depicting grief. I think sometimes it gets worse before it gets better. Have you thought about going to a grief support group there are lots of people there from dysfunctional homes. None of us get instant relief overnight from issues. For some of us different processes take a while. Be patient, be kind to yourself. Take good care of yourself, it sounds like you were devoted to your father, why not now be devoted to taking care of you.

Maresie.

missing out · Senior Member

I would like to say (((((HUGS))))) to all that have took time from your lives to encourage mine...I do have some major ups and downs when it comes to the lost of my Afather, I just somedays are much harder to bare, and for some reason, they just jump at me like "lost Moments"... If that makes sense?

I have had so many people that I love just up and pass, that I thought by now I would be able to have this under control. But with Dad it is so differant... Even if we would get into our moods with each other, and i wouldn't see him for a couple weeks, I always knew that he would be there!! And now, it is like, I am having my "Daddy Need" and I can't just go "Get my fix"..! Because rerely ever in my LIFE have I not seen my father no longer then 3-4 months at a most... And now my heart is just getting super heavy at the thought, that now I have to figure it out... How to get over that hump & no that weather he is or isn't here, I can still have my "Daddy Moment" with out having his presents in front of me!! That i think is my battle right now... I am open to any thoughts on the greiving process...For the fact that i have lost so many family members to Soo many differant diseases that I have to be running out of them soon!!!

At this time in my life, this one has cut me the deepest thus far! I know me and I know my spirit to survive, but the days I get fuzzy are the days I just need to remember to breathe deep and just take One Moment at a Time instead of One Day...Maybe then the chest pains would end, we can only hope!

Thanks for listening and sharing I am always glad to hear your ESH.... (((((ALL))))))

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