The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just a note to say hello and that I'm back. One of those things ya know. You walk away from AlAnon after years of meetings. Husband gets off drugs and then returns to drinking. Little by little it's out of control. With that said, so am I. Disgusted with the whole lot. Disgusted and angry that I'm back here where I feel like I started over 10 years ago. All my best efforts have failed me. You know the drill. You try this. You try that. Pretty soon you are just a shell of what you think you should be. Pretend to everyone that everything is o.k. Don't want to talk about it with my Mom. Don't want to talk about it with our daughter who is 1000 miles away. Don't want to tell her that her Dad is out of control. Been there done that.
Anyway, until I drag my sorry self to a face to face meeting (I don't want to hear their comments "I knew you'd be back"....because while I know we're to take some and leave the rest......it's just too much to bear right now.
So I'm back.
-- Edited by Cindy Sue at 18:27, 2009-02-03
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Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. It's what sunflowers do.
Welcome back. I just got here myself for the first time, even though I go to FF meetings weekly. One of the things I like the best about the program is that we don't shoot our wounded.
I don't know where you live, but in my area there are many meetings. Who says you have to go back to the same one where people know you? In my home group we often get folks like you, who are baaack. We don't know their past and don't care. We are just glad to have someone who will share themselves with us.
Hahaha Thanks Gran......."We don't shoot our wounded". That's an awesome expression! I'm here in Des Moines, IA and there are a lot of great meetings. My "home" meeting place is a huge old mansion called the White House. AA meetings and AlAnon meetings are housed there. There are at least three a week for us. I need to look and see where there are other meetings too because I know there are meetings all over the city. It's taking the first step and just doing it.
Went for years starting back in 1999. I have all the tools....books galore ....... but I know in my heart that none of that is working. My alcoholic has issues and that's putting it mildly! I've been asking now for months that he get back to basics. But what I know also is that I need to get back to the basics. Leave him alone and take care of myself.
Anyway, I'm back to where I started. Feeling vulnerable, stupid, angry, embarrassed, lonley and all those feelings in between.
Thanks for the welcome. I need to be here.
Where abouts are you in TX? Our daughter is in San Antonio now for 6 years. I wish I were there with her. It's frigid cold here tonight.
-- Edited by Cindy Sue at 19:26, 2009-02-03
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Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. It's what sunflowers do.
I did the "come back" routine and by the time I got back into the rooms I didn't care how anybody else felt about it I just needed to get my life back and a justification to keep on breathing. Goodgran was so right that we don't "shoot our wounded" cause they could have done that and left my body curbside for that matter which would have felt better than I was went I crawled back on my knees. LOL They even had a empty chair waiting for me. Don't stumble over your ego and pride. Here take some (((((hugs))))) with you.
Welcome back! I've been in and out of the program for nearly 8 years. Everytime I returned, I always got a warm reception and tons of hugs. No smug "I told you so" or "We knew you'd be back". Always just "Glad you're here - welcome home!".
Cindy Sue wrote: Where abouts are you in TX? Our daughter is in San Antonio now for 6 years. I wish I were there with her. It's frigid cold here tonight.
-- Edited by Cindy Sue at 19:26, 2009-02-03
We are just south of Houston, about 10 miles. Come on down anytime. It was about 70 degrees and sunny here today.
Cindy Sue wrote: Where abouts are you in TX? Our daughter is in San Antonio now for 6 years. I wish I were there with her. It's frigid cold here tonight.
-- Edited by Cindy Sue at 19:26, 2009-02-03
We are just south of Houston, about 10 miles. Come on down anytime. It was about 70 degrees and sunny here today.
Ah thanks for the invite. We get down to San Antonio every chance we get to visit our daughter. I know how steamy you get in the summer time. It's just about perfect there right now though!
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Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. It's what sunflowers do.
