The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Once an A, always an A, thank God for AA! Someone posted and asked why or if they kept acting like an A even when they are in AA... I was lying in bed this morning and that came to my mind again. I am up a little early because of that! I woke my A hubby up because I sneezed -- stopped his snoring!!! But, I sneezed again and he started his whining and groaning -- I find this behavior a little funny now, but come on ... how about "God Bless You." He will blame his behavior on being asleep. So, now I can sound off here about it! Also, I wanted to respond again to the other post... hope you are reading this... I said something to A hubby the other day that I didn't mean anything bad by, but my husband felt criticized by it. It sent him into an emotional tailspin for two days. He moped, he played poor me, he felt bad. If he wasn't in AA right now, he would have had a drink. I know the signs of his patterns. After a meeting one night, he came home and appologized though and said he had had an emotional hangover. I never heard of that before, but cool. So, the point is... once an A, always an A even in AA. Smiles! Coffee time.
That was probally one of my posts db....that is something I have struggled with with EXABF for awhile now. How he can be sober and in program and still so all over the place.....my turmoil though results in never knowing him when he drank so I have nothing to compare it to with him being sober-if that makes sense.
thanks for sharing Shellyj123
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
Well I do know some people in AA who recover. Working a progam is pretty hard stuff. I know someone who has statistics and he says that not that many people go the route of actually working the steps.
Personally for me I'm very aware that merely stopping is just one issue. Transforming ourselves is another question entirely.
I have heard that saying for as long as I have been in Al-Anon and then AA. I don't believe it. I know numerous recovering alcoholics in recovery today that it would be impossible to call "an alcoholic". On the other hand after they take care of their addiction to alcohol they become generically human (with a compulsion and allergy to alcohol) and their behaviors because of the practice of the 12step spiritual based program of recovery are very honorable.
I am first and foremost a member of the Al-Anon Family Groups. I've been here a long time. My spouse and partner is also a member of the same program.
I understand what your husband just went thru and during my event my inventory was taken and I heard the "less than" language that was used in the past alcoholic family that said I "am a problem". It was an invitation to resort to old pre-program behaviors on my part. I didn't take the opportunity for me. There was no understanding, or empathy, respect or I'm here for you and the language I was listening to was foreign reserved for others in the rooms. I see that happening alot. Good program behavior is for "in the meeting rooms" and then forgotten when the meeting room door is closed.
He went into an emotional tailspin and had an emotional hangover. He employed natural and normal self care behavior in moping and self pity and didn't stay there. He was practicing an alternative to "just drinking over it" and....he humbly apologized without waiting to hear from a complaint about his behavior from you. I'd hang with him anytime and I'd be better off for it. I love the walkers and don't hang with the talkers.
What he did was what I did...I inventoried. I do two inventories one on myself and one on my relationships with others. At times what I have to do is change the relationship because I need to grow.
Do you think that if I met your alcoholic and we didn't know we were in recovery that I would know he was one?
Thanks for the response posts! I didn't know that my first line was a saying ... I thought I just made it up this morning... darn! I hear you guys... I do need to think about my communication skills... just got back from my counselor and we talked about just that. And, yes, I do think if you met him, after awhile, you would know he is an alcoholic. I am not sure if knowing someone before, during and after drinking and /or recovery makes any difference ... maybe. I was reminded this evening that recovery is developmental... that emotionally one can be at a young age, teenage... and I keep forgetting and expect to be relating to an adult. Hmmmmm.
Smiles! Coffee time.
