The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So, I sent my AH an email telling him that I loved him sooooo much, but, that I was not moving back under his " I'll party once in a while" conditions and that I didn't want and couldn't learn how to handle him when his wasted. I guess that pissed him off, cause he hasn't called me. I know it was the right thing to do, because he was talking about moving back and yadayadayada and I know nothing has changed and is too soon. But I'm also so scared and sad. I know it's ok to express how I feel and what I want, but I guess after 7 years of doing what HE wants, it's just hard to do that and not feel like I did something wrong. I'm also sad, cause this last couple of weeks we've been going out and talking (he's sober when he comes over) and I just missed THAT guy so much!!! I guess setting boundaries is scary for me.
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Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
yes setting boundaries is scarry , it def creates change in the relationshiip and not always the one we want either . but boundaries is showing yourself the respect u deserve . not about control anymore . if we want change we have to be willing to create it . boundaries will do that for a relationship . Learning that the word NO can be a complete sentence takes time no need to explain or defend your decission just NO . good luck Louise
