The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
For the past two days I have felt "off", not sad, unhappy or any of those things-just "off". Been sticking with my program and working the steps and reading and couldn't get rid of the "off" feeling. I used HALT (thank you Tricia) and figured out that I was feeling a bit lonely and VERY tired) but still there was something I couldn't put my finger on. Today it his me like a ton of bricks........there's nothing wrong-that is what has been wrong! Now the situation with my EABF could be better, but not really-we are working slowly and even that situation is not as unbearable as it once was, but realistically there is NOTHING WRONG. That is what has had me feeling so "off", because in my life for years and years when things are going good or ok-you could bet your bottem dollar that hell was just around the corner.....and if it didn't come on it's own I made it a self fulfilling prophecy because I KNEW things were going to get bad.....I KNEW they couldn't stay good for me for long. So here I am-upset or feeling "off" as I like to call it all because there is nothing for me to be upset , anxious or worried or controlling about.....I'm not knowing how to live in this kind of a world and it scares me and can be very confusing at times-the past two days had me convinced I was a mess again all because I didn't know why I felt the way I did. To me, just living day to day, and being still is a mind blower in itself........and it was blowing mine. The good side of it all is that I did NOT react to my feelings, I did NOT call the EX and blame him, or take it out on anyone else. I stepped back and gave it some thought, kept to myself, did the bare minimum I needed to as mother and daughter and worker and then just took care of me......Normally the EX would have gotten a call and told clear off for whatever I was trying to control at the time, the kid would be mad at me, and the coworkers would hide....so all in all i am making progress and I am ok, I'm just changing and not used to it I guess......so many new experiences and I had thought I had had every experience possible.....and had most of the bad ones~the good ones are just throwing me for a loop:) Thanks for letting me share
-- Edited by shellyj123 at 15:31, 2009-01-09
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
(shellyj123) From my experience over the years in business and personel life there have been days and weeks that a stressful problem existed. I am speaking of the kind of problem that you have absolutely no control over, you can't fix it or make it go away. It eats on you day after day. Then after days or weeks it is resolved, settled, over. I would think to myself, boy I am glad that is behind me. Stress is gone, problem gone, now I will get on with my life and feel so much better.
WRONG!! I know the problem is gone, but my body has not had time to re-adjust, therefore I would think, why do I still feel nervous and and uneasy? After several years I realized the body does not have and on and off switch, therefore it still thinks the problem exist. Don't forget this is something that you have been dealing with for years, not days and weeks. It will just take time.
Think about it this way, you are changing for the good so quick your body just can't keep up with you. LOL
