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OK long story short...My husband and myslef run our own business, this year make 20 years for my husband, and we try really hard in todays world to run it the way it should run to survive in todays crazy world... I have told my family, (Mother, sister,brother) all thee above, ONLY call me at work IF there is an emergancy... Today the house phone started ringing at 7am, and till I got out the door at 8am i had done spoke to 3 members of my family including my neice, when I got in the door of work, 5minutes later (my shop is next door to my home)...it started again, my mother spoke to my husband while I was in the shower this morning and gave him a nice long message for me and then the second I got in the door, she is calling again... Now I came from a small town and moved only about 10 miles from it to were I live now... Yes I lived there the first 18 years of my life... I'm 35 now... Well Moms big message was to tell me that some women that I seen once in my life 25 years ago.... past away... How is this an emergancy... I have very BLUNTLY told them DO NOT CALL, and yet they do, and when mom calls it is from work and it is from a differant number every time, so I can't just not answer the phone because we have customers that also work there... auggggg how can I get this to stop so I dont have to start every morning with a "Death" or Bad News... I am a very possitive person and they CONSTENTLY bring me down, sometimes I feel like I am sufficating... I love my family, all included but why can't I get them to see I have a Job that needs me, and I have NEVER called them at work to tell them someones died..because if I did they would be FIREd.. I mean really What Are They Thinking...I don't even answer my house phone (which is about to be disonnected) because I can't stand the Drama... I am a home body and love my home but HATE all the phones ringing non stop Day and Nght.....auuugggghhhhh
Thanks for letting me let it out... Most grateful
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Forgiveness- Isn't about forgettingwhat happened,its about Giving Up,All Hope,of a Better Past!
Sounds to me like u have set yourself up as the fixer of the family - bad habit to get out of . Smothering u bet have u told them f2f about not calling and that u would never call them at work for fear of th em being fired , your own business or not u would like the same respect . It might work good luck Louise
You have definitely taken on the role of the family "fix it" and "go to" person, and you are the only one who can change it..... Read up some on detachment and do it with love but set your boundaries very clearly so there is no room for misinterpretation. Remember you can only change you and how you deal with /react to situations..... Keep coming back:)
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
I have a tough time with boundaries too. One rule I have is not to engage. I curerntly have a neighbor who is really not taking care of himself. I told him this week I was going to be busy during the day. Sure enough he calls me yesterday. One way I do it is not to engage. I just say I can't talk to you now and ring off. I don't remonstrate. I don't ask them repeatedly. I put a lot of distance between myself and people who don't respect my boundaries. I can't say this was always the case.
good luck. My other experience is that boundaries take a lot of work and constant re evaluation.
OK long story short...My husband and myslef run our own business, this year make 20 years for my husband, and we try really hard in todays world to run it the way it should run to survive in todays crazy world... I have told my family, (Mother, sister,brother) all thee above, ONLY call me at work IF there is an emergancy... Today the house phone started ringing at 7am, and till I got out the door at 8am i had done spoke to 3 members of my family including my neice, when I got in the door of work, 5minutes later (my shop is next door to my home)...it started again, my mother spoke to my husband while I was in the shower this morning and gave him a nice long message for me and then the second I got in the door, she is calling again... Now I came from a small town and moved only about 10 miles from it to were I live now... Yes I lived there the first 18 years of my life... I'm 35 now... Well Moms big message was to tell me that some women that I seen once in my life 25 years ago.... past away... How is this an emergancy... I have very BLUNTLY told them DO NOT CALL, and yet they do, and when mom calls it is from work and it is from a differant number every time, so I can't just not answer the phone because we have customers that also work there... auggggg how can I get this to stop so I dont have to start every morning with a "Death" or Bad News...