The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This weekend brought with it an opportunity for me to grow a little more and for that I am grateful. I was experiencing a "situation" with the ex that sent me, at first reaction, into a tail spin.......Then several minutes later, after several times reciting the Serenity Prayer.....I got a grip:) I have always had a problem with accepting things as they are...I have fought, screamed, kicked, stomped, manipulated and controlled to have MY will be done, because I knew what needed done, and could get it done faster(yes patience is also a fault)-lol. I can laugh at that now......I can laugh at alot of my crazy behaviors lately, to a "normal" person they would seem insane-throwing dresser drawers full of clothes out the windows, planning someone's death, pouring liquor down the drain, saying "I tripped" when someone wanted to know what happened to my face, calling the DMV, cops, anyone/anything who I thought could make my life "normal" and make my ex husband stop drinking... I realized this weekend that accepting something doesn't mean being a doormat, and accepting unacceptable behavior....it means accepting that facts of the situation and then deciding what I will do about it.........acceptance actually gives us choices and is a wonderful thing once we let go of Our will...... Someone here wrote, not sure who, that the difference between God's will and mine is that mine usually hurts~ that sums it up for me in a nutshell.......great quote and full of ESH....... Went to a f2f meeting Friday and am now more sure than ever that this is where I belong...........what a wonderful program, filled with wonderful caring, crazy, people..........I love it!!!
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
Well I did my share of screaming, chasing the ex, calling him constantly. That does change when we get into al anon. I'm glad you are there. The other is exhausting.
When local Al-Anon groups meet we refer to them a face to face meetings ( f2f meetings for short ). You can check your local phone book and find the meeting times and places in your area. I attend two meetings each week for the past two years. I can sum up my f2f meetings in four words. "Al-Anon changed my life."
I read your post above and think you would find the ESH (experience, strength, and hope) you need at the f2f meetings. There you will find people just like yourself who have or have had the same problems you are going through. You will be accepted into the group by loving and caring Al-Anon members. It would be the very best way for you to take care of yourself.
Also I suggest you type in f2f meetings in the search bar at the top of this page and see what other members have said about their first f2f meeting.
Shelly, I really liked what you said about accepting does not mean being a doormat, it means accepting what is going on and then making choices- that is so true. I was (and sometimes still am, when I slip!) a total tantrum person also. I really have no idea how I got to be this way but I know it just makes no sense whatsoever! Its the most childish thing in the world, honestly. And what a futile thing- its not like we have any control to reverse time and go back and make anything different. Things are, what they are!
This is why I love ACCEPTANCE and I study acceptance every single day of my life now. I try to make myself a student of acceptance at all times. When something, anything happens I just STOP and I say to myself: "ok, x just happened and now I feel like x" and I just stop and I just sit there and notice. And notice some more. AND DO NOTHING but just very carefully watch myself.
Thanks so much for your post- reminded me of some very important stuff. Hugs, J.
