The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi All My AH has been gone ten days today. It has not been easy, but hearing for the oldest son that he maybe going back in to treatment. Not my problem but it is so hard not to care. But careing right now willl get me nowhere. I still feel hurt. I have not heared form him in two day I know that me saying that he could not come over to help put all christmas hurt him and I know that I had to do that for myself this time. I have gone to three Al-anon meeting this week and one AA meeting. So I know that I am doing what I need to for me and my daughter but when does the feeling of peace come. I am tryer of hurting and not knowing. I have been working on giving thing s to my HP and it is working just not fast a little at a time. Thanks for listening.
What I was taught early on was just do and practice and focus on me only and the program. That's how newbies get a different perspective. Stick with family and go to meetings. That's what works...one step, one day at a time. I am watching miracles happen here as newer members continue to do what's suggested. Keep coming back. (((((hugs)))))
(Smileycat) It always seems in life if we want things to go slow they go fast, and if we want them to go fast they go slow. Actually they usually go at the pace they are suppose to go, which is not usually as fast as we wish. I wanted my HP to work miracles and do it in my time frame. If HP did not work the miracle within my time frame, which was most of the time, I would simply take it back from him or at least do my part to help him out. This is what I did my whole life prior to working this program.
After few months in this program someone in a meeting said, when you give your problems to your HP give them to him 100% and do not look back or take it back. It might not happen as soon as you would like, but it will happen in his own time not yours. I thought about that long and hard and decided to give it a try. Guess what, it works. Truly turning your problems over to your HP takes all the worry and pressure off. I compare it to carrying your problems in your pocket with a hole in the pocket. Out of sight and out of mind if you take the 100% approach. It works for me because I practice it.
I have finally quit standing in front of the coffee machine at my business and telling it to hurry up.
Keep working the program as I can tell from your post that you are. Good luck and (HUGS)
It never seems to happen fast enough, but it does happen. Healing doesn't happen quickly, whether a broken bone or a broken heart/spirit. Take this time to work on yourself. Learn to let go, detach, find serenity. Get to as many meetings as you can and use your phone list in between. Find a sponsor, call program friends. There is nothing that helps to spur my own recovery like a newcomer calling me for help. Don't ever think that you are a burden to those who give you their number to call. As a newcomer there was nothing better to me than someone on the other end of the line who really heard and understood my pain. Someone who didn't mind listening to it, and coud help direct my thinking back to me where it belonged.
Try to let go of the things you are obsessing about and concentrate on finding out what you really need at this moment. Start small. Do you need more sleep, less sleep, a hot bath, a good meal, a brisk walk, a slow stroll? Do you have a craft or passion that you once enjoyed? What makes you smile with your whole face clear up to your eyes? It took me over a year to figure out that one.
You really are doing fine, and the answers will come, the serenity will come.
In recovery,
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
