The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was reading a friend's blog and it made me think of this. I am well aware of who I am when I don't like myself, which is pretty much all the time. My opinions, my stubbornness, my neediness, my self sabotoging behavior, on and on...When I started thinking about it though, I came upon an "aha" moment. On one hand, I have accepted these things about myself to the point that I've come to expect this from me and honestly so do others. On the other hand, I will go to any lengths to not look myself in the eye in a mirror because I don't want to think about these things because it all seems so overwhelmiing to me. In essence I become frozen and unable to move and or think my way out of the paper bag. But, I somehow have to tie these 2 ends together so that I can really change this.
Recently I was reading a book about our percieved realities and quantum physics. One sentence that stood out for me was "what you focus on is your reality". So true. If we believe or focus on the same ole thing nothing can change because we don't allow it in to our reality. That's just how it is, case closed. If you change your focus and see something differently, your reality will change. Made sense to me :)
Maybe you could try consciously focusing on only one of your percieved defects at a time until your perception changes. Take notice of it, catch yourself and change your thought and actions to what you would like to see in yourself.
Many of our defects are life long habits or things we've been told are defective. Somewhere in time we begin to take them on and own them. It's not truly who we are. If that was so there would be no chance for change.
Life choices, defects and the honorable things in us are all mixed up in a bowl of life's alphabet soup. As adults we have the choice of choosing and picking which scenerio we think will work for us from the soup. There are lots of choices available for a single question or problem. The good news is we are in no way stuck with our first choice. We can choose an alternative that works better for us at any time.
Take care Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I agree Christy! I try to read over some positive affirmations of who/how I want to be in the morning to balance all the brow beating I can give myself when I'm on automatic behavior of negative thinking about myself. I will try to do more of that again...... goes right along with the self care and self TLC. How easy it is to focus on others and how easy it is to forget to care for ourselves. Aware, acceptance and darn well time for some action how ever small the change is.
thanks for the post ss - it's so hard to feel valued when surrounded by chaos, criticism and insanity. one day at a time adds up as we learn to care for ourselves.
hugs, ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
S.S. It is very interesting to me that our topic at Tues. night's meeting was the three A's. I have trouble with the Awareness, Acceptance & Action. Sometimes I jump right in to action without looking at what I am doing. I especially feel that when I speak. I have been spouting off to people I love a lot lately & sometimes I am not aware of why I am doing it. I cannot seem to accept whatever it is that is bothering me as an issue. I hope I make sense this morning. I am vey tired & stressed because I can't seem to be able to email my friends & family. I can't get the cursor to work so I can type; it is strange. Take care, S.S. Kathleen
