The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have had quite a bad night, with thoughts running away from me and feelings somewhat out of control. It started with two phone calls from my father's house. It was not his terminally ill wife that was the problem but my A brother who is being rendered homeless as his place is a fire hazard. He has been sorted with B&B and needs somewhere to store his books which I have agreed to do. My first impulse after a fairly sleepless night was to fix, direct and control. I have decided not to do that. The second phone call involved my father ringing me to tell me to tell him to clean himself up. I explained that I would not be doing that and I think he was quite shocked though I was not agressive. I am very sick of getting phone calls from that number at this stage and I am turning it over to my HP. I am not interfering with his housing as if where he is is a fire hazard then he's better off out of there, My ex-A is quite callous of course and sees it as a way of gaining points. I just ignore him and will until this passes. I am not doing anymore airport runs either for her daughters. They do not pay for petrol and I can't afford it at this time and I will explain that, although I am sorry I am unable to help, its just not suitable at this time. One of them watched me pay for a parking ticket and did not bother to pay it, and its putting a lot of financial pressure on me. I remember the three c's and all the posts that are on the board and this is what is getting me through this at the moment,
It sounds like your program is working. You've had a bad night, but you used all of your Alanon tools. So pat yourself on the back. As you know this will pass. I need to remember that too. I wonder if there was something in the water last night. I had an extremely bad day at work yesterday. I completely lost it on my boss. The customers were nasty, etc. I certainly didn't handle things well. I need to remember my program. I may not have an A in my life any more, but last night was proof positive that I need my program. Hopefully things will get better for both of us. Meanwhile, I applaud the way you handled things. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
When my mother was ill I entertained late night (really early morning) calls from my sisters. I called far more than they did. I also was "there" emotionally for my younger sister (and ran up quite a big international phone bill). I had no program then. You have one now. I am glad you can set limits.
Personally some of what I have learned in shutting down the A is that I wait far to long to go to the lengths of shutting off the phone. I waited till I couldn't bear it anymore then shut it off. If you can't take the call don't take it. They can leave a message.
we are going to have those times and your post reminds me of this. Stuff is going to happen and then what do we do? Just what you did- great reminder and know you are not alone in those late nights. I have them too but thankfully they are now rare and few. But they will never go away completely and I accept that. Hugs, J.
