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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> tired and exhausted
Post Info TOPIC: tired and exhausted
charlescharles


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tired and exhausted
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mya..my 'girlfriend'..the woman of my dreams>???!!..blah blah blah

she is suffering ten fold right now...last night was misery..she has finally gotten some food in her stomach and trying to settle down

she dosen't have the finances to get to me...and i don't have the finances to get to her..thank god>>???


i asked my higher power to help me with all of this..trying to stay sane in a rather insane and crazy disfunctional situation

i give myself a four out of ten...better then nothing

for myself..i feel for her..i'm trying to be as supportive as i can right now...the anger and resentment and rage and hostility has quieted down for now..hope it stays that way

my thing is i need to keep these negative emotions in check...need to realize they cause the situation to become worse and worse and worse

i play a huge role in this and my abusive words and anger resentment and rage sometimes get the best of me

asking my higher power to take these things from me..it works sometimes..usually when i follow the hp will

when i follow my will it gets nuts..this is a distinction i am finally realizing..trying to just stay sane and sober right now...84 days sober..pretty good i think


anyway..i will pray for this woman as i will pray for myself...right now..at this moment there is nothing more that i can do

i hope she is all right and i hope i can deal with my own short comings character defects and fears that steer me in the wrong direction

maybe i nee to ask my higher power too remove these things from me

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Tenderheartsks


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Charles, are you attending any meetings for your recovery from alcoholism?

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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."
- Woodrow Wilson
charlescharles


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yes..i attend ..usually..two aa meetings a day...recovering mostly from drug addiction..i also attend two alanon meetings a week..one being an acoa meeting and one coda meeting a week

it's a lot of meetings...maybe i should be doing better then i am?...i struggle..i think i hide my feelings at times..not certain were to put things and who to direct them to

as for my a..well..there are some wonderful qualities in her but over all things...for me..got so out of hand

anyway...yes..i am certainly in recovery mode

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Tenderheartsks


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Thanks for answering my question. ((((hugs))))

If you ever want to talk off the board, feel free to PM or email me. I'm at the computer a lot with my college classes here at home, okay?

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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."
- Woodrow Wilson
CJ


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charles, brother... maybe a different perspective may help...

charles said, "i feel for her... i'm trying to be as supportive as possible..."

perhaps HP does not mean for you to be supportive? her situation is not for you to change. that is between her and her HP. someone asked me why i thought i was able to help my Awife, being that my thinking was hugely distorted and dysfunctional... it made me see that that is not my side of the street.  i take responsibility for my part, and make amends when required -- but amends is usually the 'be all/end all' of supporting a toxic individual. 

like my ex wife, this gal of yours needs to hit her bottoms, and feel them -- not have someone cushion the fall, and enable the cycle to continue.

my experiences within the program lead me to believe that it takes totally stepping out of the toxic relationship to be able to begin to receive the lessons the program has to offer.

keep coming back and sharing... and getting to meetings.
much hope to you,
cj

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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> tired and exhausted