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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Why is it that......
Post Info TOPIC: Why is it that......
kissers


Senior Member

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Why is it that......
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the A can schedule a meeting, interview; yet, never make a commitment for us to do anything? It always has to be on the spur of the moment. I don't mind being spontaneous once in a while, but I can't live my life that way when I have a child to consider. Everything seems to be on his terms. He can go out to bars, etc. If I am invited to a party he gets angry. If I am angry because he doesn't show up at all, then I am a b.....h. I am done! He can find someone else to put up with his behavior.

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J.R.


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I have been in many situations where I have been expected to drop everything and do what ever comes our way. Most of the time, I am pretty easy going and let things like that go. But when it comes time to step up, I do. I hear so many people talk the talk, but hardly ever walk the walk.

It sounds to me like you have a good handle on expressing your feelings. Now the real questions is, what are you really going to do?

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J. R.

Inland Empire Al-Anon of Southern California
SCAC
Inland Empire AA Convention
kissers


Senior Member

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I am going to tell him I need to make plans ahead of time and if he can't do so, then I think it is best we go our separate ways. I'd rather be alone, then live a circus life.

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debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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Hon there is no rationalizing insanity.

soooo the key is what about you? How can you live with it and be ok, or can you leave it and be ok.

Hugs,debilyn

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"If wishes were wings,piggys would fly."
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Tenderheartsks


~*Service Worker*~

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I am dealing with the same behaviors here at home with the 20 year old AD!

I continue to do what I need to do for me, and she can throw all the fits that she wants.

I no longer schedule my day around her, nor do I interrupt my plans for her either.



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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."
- Woodrow Wilson
CJ


~*Service Worker*~

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the "WHY" question.

(((Kissers)))

it can never be answered.  it only makes us (the affected one) insane.  it is the question that, I think, we must STOP asking... that is, if we care to get healthy. 

i started a topic on this a few months back, if you care to see other views.


my analysis:  WHY does he/she do this unfair thing (insert whatever unfair thing is going on at this time)?  Because they are sick and cannot see the ego-centricity, unfairness, irresponsibility and consequences of said thing.

Why? Why can't we surrender our expectations of an Alcoholic/Addict ever meeting our needs?

with love and hope,
cj

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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
maresie


~*Service Worker*~

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Well its life on their terms.  I put up with it for years and years and years. I believed it.  I felt lost, abandoned, put down, used up and totally manipulated. I was of course.

Maresie.

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maresie
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