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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Saying "no thanks" to A's entering my life!
Post Info TOPIC: Saying "no thanks" to A's entering my life!
Jean4444


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Saying "no thanks" to A's entering my life!
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I spent the last two weeks at my sister's and she had a great house guest (along with me) and he and I really hit it off. He was my brother-in-law's best friend. Anyway, we ended up spending quite a bit of time together. He is an A. I was able to have a lot of fun with him without drinking with him and avoiding him/not being around him when he was really drunk. I managed quite well!! When the time came to part, he wanted to stay in touch and I just decided to say: "no thanks". I decided that I do not want an active alcoholic in my life in any way, shape or form. He is a great guy and might be a wonderful friend but I made a decision that was best for me, right here, right now. If I see him again through my family, thats great, I will do what I did before that worked but I know its good for me to steer clear of active alcoholism and the last thing I want to do is add on to the list of A's in my life! In the past, I would have left it "open ended" and who knows what might have happened. Instead, I was proactive and made a clear, conscious choice. I said what I meant but I did not say it mean and we parted on good terms. thank u al-anon!!!! J.

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Tenderheartsks


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Isn't that a wonderful feeling?! I'd say that bar of standards is getting higher because Jean loves Jean! ((((hugs))))

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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."
- Woodrow Wilson
Leetle


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Good for you (((((((((Jean)))))))))!

It sounds like you are in a really healthy place in your life and that is great.

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learning to live for the now...
maire rua


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Yes, I've done the same thing recently in a friendship, you're in a good place and its great to be able to do things without champing at the bit, giving out and being judgements,

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Maire rua
serendipity


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Holy cow!!! We're allowed to do that?!? I thought if anyone, especially an A, wanted to be my friend I was obligated to say ok. Thanks for this post and the reminder that I can choose to accept people into my life that I want in my life. Not just the random A who is nice and funny for those few hours. After all, that is where I came in. I do not EVER want to go back there again!!!

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maresie


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Choice is everything. I recently revisited a choice I made regarding a guy I briefly dated. He lives nearby. I went over to approach the issue of reconnecting. I saw his car which was a real mess (I won't elaborate).  I chose to say No I don't think so.  So I didn't leave a note or make an opening.  I'm so glad.  I really have enough to contend with.

I admire your courage because I know you are lonely.  I used to settle in order to mediate my loneliness.  Now I don't but there is a price for that.  The price is of course more time alone and more time to weigh your options.

maresie.

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maresie
queenie105


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I think that's great!  Way to go!  None of us deserve to go down that road again.  Life is full of many lessons, I think most of us eventually do learn that one.  (((Hugs)))

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Becky1


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Wow, that is great. I am so lonely for male companionship, I don't know what I would do would the opportunity come about.
Great example of courage, and working the program, you are.

Love in Recovery,
Becky1

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Don't leave before the miracle!
liljeannie


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Amen SISTAH!!
Way to grow!
jeannie

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if you bring forth what is within you, what is within you will save you
ddub


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Jean,

You are an inspiration and expand my knowledge about choices!
My first thought to your post was how great she did that.
Then after I read your replies and saw Seren's:
"Holy cow!!! We're allowed to do that?!?"
I thought yeah!  This is a news flash for me too.
Good for you and good for me to learn new things too.

hugs, ddub

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"Choices are the hinges of destiny."  Pythagoras         You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Saying "no thanks" to A's entering my life!