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level.
In my ftf meeting last night the topic was Mistakes. I read a page out of Courage to Change (pg 60) that I found very interesting. For those of you that don't have the book (you should get it!) it begins by talking about how an automatic pilot on an airplane keeps a plane on its course. It does this by moving back and forth over the course it is supposed to be on and correcting itself when it is wrong. It further states that the plane is only on its "true" course 5-10 % of the time. The rest of the time it is adjusting to the error in its course. Even being wrong as much as 95% of the time, the net result is the plane gets where it is going!
I did not know this and found it fascinating.
And it made me think of my old 1968 Dodge Dart, Doris is her name. When I first got Doris about 16 years ago there was some play in the steering. I could turn the steering wheel 3-4 inches back and forth without turning the vehicle. Anytime I drive a car I am constantly doing just what those airplane autopilots do...correcting for errors in my course. Cars don't go in a straight line if not guided by our hand. Roads aren't often straight for very long, and even in a straightaway roads have a cross slope to them that has to be adjusted for.
What was interesting about Doris, prior to surgery on her steering, was that sometimes...on a good straight stretch of road everything would line up and she would be headed in the right direction. Because of the play in the steering my hands on the wheel would loose touch with the roadway and it would feel sorta like the car was floating along unguided by me...which in fact it was! After a while of this I would begin to feel a little uncomfortable! What if the old steering box had finally broke and the steering was completely gone!!?
So I would purposefully turn the wheel right or left to take the care slightly off that "true" path so that I could feel the control again and know that I was still able to steer the car.
That is the way my life goes today. I am on a journey. A journey with sections of straight roadway and sometimes curved roadway. Sometimes there are detours. Sometimes a particular road gets closed for whatever reason.
And most importantly for me, and for you as how this analogy all relates to making mistakes...lol, is that I will make mistakes. Lots of them! Probably every day I can look back and see something I might consider a mistake. Something I would like to do over or not do at all.
But this whole autopilot steering thing sorta put a new spin on mistakes for me. The mistakes are how I gauge my progress!
Because I am now AWARE when I make a mistake and can make a slight course correction and head back in the direction I want to be going.
I don't have to feel shame for my mistakes, I don't have to beat myself up over them. I can see them for what they are, make an amends to someone if I need to (the autopilot doesn't have to do that part), then learn from them. Use them for what they truly can be, barometers of how well I am doing staying on course.
This program is truly amazing. On page 71 of CTC there is a little prayer.."Help me, Higher Power. Help me remember that the purpose of making mistakes is to prepare myself to make more; help me remember that when I am no longer making mistakes I'll be out of this world."
Leave it to al-anon to make mistakes a good thing folks! lol
I am headed away to one of my favorite conferences this weekend, the Hill Country Roundup. I will be among my fellows, AA and Al-anon. I will get to meet a sponsee's mother who is in program and visiting from another state. I have a two and a half hour drive to get there. Doris can't go..she is still getting her insides made over..but Caliope the Caliber and I will be on our way shortly and I am sure there are going to be many opportunities for me to think about how great a day it is to be alive. How blessed I am to be here to make mistakes along the way to keep me on the road I want to be on. The Road to Happy Destiny!
Thank you for writing this. I have been feeling as though I continually make mistakes and that I am just not understanding the program as quickly as I should. I guess mistakes are a way of reminding us to stay on course. It's that two steps forward, one step back. When you take that step back, you beat yourself up and think will I ever move forward again? You always do and this reminds me to "trust the process". Leave it to my HP who is working it out for me, better than I could ever imagine. Thanks for sharing.
You always make me think and you always provide a smile. Thank you.
You may, or may not be aware that I have been deep in error since I left my home and travelled south to try to give my daughter some quality time with her boyfriend whilst taking care of her dysfunctional family.
I got into real hot water and the errors I made took me so far off true that it has taken me sometime to correct my direction. And yet, even now as I think of these latest errors I am aware that I may have been off course for everyone else, however I was and still am right on course for ME.
The errors were caused by the difference in expectations, situations and behavioural traits and whilst I was not able to adjust my flight path enough to ward off errors and miscalcuations due to uncontrollable factors - i.e. the dysfunctional family itself, I ended up right on target once I had withdrawn from that dysfunctional family.
Thank you David, you just put the last piece in my jigsaw.
Hope you enjoy the drive and the conference.
Take care, with love to you my dear, Suzannah
__________________
Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
LOL, it all suddenly makes sense! Some times I drive an hour to get to our airport only to board a plane that flys directly back over my house again. Actually, I enjoyed your post and it really got me to thinking. Great way to look at it. Love Doris too by the way, she's a beauty. Have fun at your roundup, I look forward to hearing about it later.
I've started trying to map out my days. I used to put all these incredible expectaitons on myself and work myself into the ground. Now I'm mappng out the days what can I do, what can I achieve, what is the best way to pace myself. I think some of that is like auto pilot. A few weeks ago I signed up to volunteer for a project 2 days, one day was hellish, absolutely hell on wheels. I did not take care of myself in the best way. Thank you for giving me the auto pilot metaphor.
) it begins by talking about how an automatic pilot on an airplane keeps a plane on its course. It does this by moving back and forth over the course it is supposed to be on and correcting itself when it is wrong. It further states that the plane is only on its "true" course 5-10 % of the time. The rest of the time it is adjusting to the error in its course. Even being wrong as much as 95% of the time, the net result is the plane gets where it is going!
When I first got Doris about 16 years ago there was some play in the steering. I could turn the steering wheel 3-4 inches back and forth without turning the vehicle. Anytime I drive a car I am constantly doing just what those airplane autopilots do...correcting for errors in my course. Cars don't go in a straight line if not guided by our hand. Roads aren't often straight for very long, and even in a straightaway roads have a cross slope to them that has to be adjusted for. 
