The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am so angery with myself my Ab is still in his mums but we have chatted on the phone again he has tried to start cycle but I carnt take anymore I need to see action. Why am I doing this why dont I just get rid of him. I saw him today on my way home from work he was out side the dole he is on state benefits he was going in for a lone. He looked so scruffy. I am a graduate with a job and a future ahead of me. what am I doing why carnt I walk away. There is an emotional connection he supports me when I am down yet he is the one who causes me a lot of my pain I am getting really angrey with myself for being so weak for not waiting till a man I deserve comes along. What kind of role model am I being for my daughter.
My sponsor told me that sometimes it takes a bit for our hearts to catch up with our heads. Keep going to those ftf meetings and reading all the alanon stuff you can get your hands on. All of this takes time and dedication, but in my case it works as long as I work it!
You didn't get into this situation overnight, and it might take a while to get out of it. IT doesn't mean that you are weak, it means that you have been affected by this horrible and very stong disease.
It's true, sometimes the heart takes longer than the head to change. And, another thing that brings to mind is - if your ass is where it is supposed to be, your head and heart both follow. That is - take healthy actions, whether you feel them or not, yet. Go to meetings, go to work, go to the gym, go to classes, spend time with happy healthy people who support you - even if deep down you are yearning a little to do what you know is bad for you, if your ACTIONS are good for you, it works out in the end.
