The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Dear All, I didn't get the job I went for on monday but am not too put out. It was not for me. My sister rang yesterday, having just arrived in the country, no warning, as usual, but this time, I set some boundaries. I pointed out that this method of arrival was not convenient and that I wished that she would not keep doing this to me as it is awkward. I came to a solution that suited me to meet up but it does not seem to suit so I let go and let God as I really need to focus on me at this time and I find her husband drags me down a great deal. I just don't feel up for it at this time and feel that if I do not make a stand with this behaviour, unannounced holidays, expectations of being wined and dined, unnecessary expense, then it will not stop and I need it to. I didn't say it mean, but I certainly meant what I said.
Good for you I have really big problems with setting boundaries and sticking to them once I have. I then get very resentful and my relationships suffer. The consequence I am very angrey and dont want people around me at the moment. I guess I just need to learn to think of my needs love me You seem to be getting the hang of it well done you have made things a little clearer thanks for your share
My family and friends have done similar things. I tend to set those boundaries now. I know I let them go for years. I am so glad that you are able to do this. We do have limits. I know if I go beyond my limits the resentment is so toxic.
There's a saying "if you are always doing what you've always done, you will always be getting what you've always gotten."
Seems like you decided to take good care of you and may have just taught your sister an invaluable lesson - to be considerate and give you fair warning first otherwise she might not get to see you.
yours in recovery, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
My Mom used to drop little bombshells on me until I finally stood up and quit playing the game. That was over a year ago and its been awhile since she's even tried. We get along much better when I don't resent her poor behavior.
In recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
