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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I Broke Down and Called My Son
Post Info TOPIC: I Broke Down and Called My Son
MomGayle42


Veteran Member

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Posts: 28
Date:
I Broke Down and Called My Son
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I have not called him since he went on a drinking binge and was put in jail for a DUI. It seems like it has been a few weeks but truthfully I do not know. I try hard to focus on my life, my younger son and when I catch myself slippping I say a prayer for him and then move on.  Today I thought I should call though, just to say "I love you"... I found he has been kicked out of another home. This time for his drinking and they claim he stole a credit card. My A son went on to complain about everyone, how much he hates it, he  has no gas to get to court, the braces on his teeth are started to mess up his teeth etc. etc.  He became angrier and angrier just venting but it seemed he was pointing the finger at everyone else. After letting him vent I responded by saying "if you want to fix things, you need to start with yourself"... He hung up on me.  I called back and left a message stating "I did not call to lecture, I called to say I love you and I want to end the call that way."

I feel so helpless. I know providing him any help will just enable his A behavior but today I am very down.... Sometimes I guess we can just say I love you, pray and cry....

MomGayle

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buick23


Senior Member

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Posts: 325
Date:
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I think you did the right thing by what you said to him. I have always heard and experienced myself that A's always point their finger at others, blame others for their problems. I think if that was my child I would have done the same.

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Diva


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2188
Date:
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Yes, Gayle, we can always say, "I love you."

THinking of you and caring,

Diva

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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
lin0606


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2287
Date:
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I think you did right too. 

It would have been wonderful if he could have said "I love you too Mom" but he may just be unable to let go of his grievances enough to do this.  Your part is to do what your heart honestly tells you, and then to let go of the outcome.  You can't do anything about his reaction, but you can control YOUR actions.  Sounds like you did just this. 

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stariana


Veteran Member

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Posts: 65
Date:
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Sending hugs and prayers your way, to let you know you are on my mind. The fact is, "they" can't face the truth, and what you said WAS the truth. That's why he got mad. Because you were right.

Until he faces up to his actions, nothing will change for him. Stay strong, and leave it to his HP.

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"One Day at a Time"
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I Broke Down and Called My Son