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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Help, New member!!
Post Info TOPIC: Help, New member!!
RJ1978


Newbie

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Help, New member!!
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Any suggestions !!!!This is my  breif story....


Started about 10yrs ago found out son was an addict, he went into rehab only then to find out he had been molested. It hasn't ended he has been into rehabs, 3/4 and halfway houses and jail. Four years ago he married had two kids and bought a house.Two years ago he was doing very well in the aa program and was staying sober, when sober for a while decided he did not want to be with his wife, so they are now going through a divorce, well about 4 mos ago he started using again.At first he would call and cry he needed help, we would run, but now it is at least once every 2 weeks he goes out and uses, we are very involved because we have a business with him.....


Part of me wants to just up and walk away and pretend the problem does not exist i'am very tired physiclly and emotionally....


Tired in NE.


 



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jessi


Senior Member

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Glad you found this site. I would suggest trying some face to face meetings too before you decide this program is not for you.

My goes out to you concerning your son. I'm sorry to hear he is struggling but you need to keep the focus on yourself. NO ONE can make him stop drinking or using. It is up to him and his Higher Power.

In program, we talk often about detaching with love. It's about separating the person from the disease for me. You can love your son all you want and need to but you don't have to enable him to keep his addiction.

There is no way out of this one. Just be gentle with yourself and keep coming back!

Love and hugs,
Jessi

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If you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.
autumnangel


Veteran Member

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Posts: 37
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HUGS and welcome.  I can understand how hard this is, you feel so helpless when someone you love is so out of control. But you're not alone.  What helped me greatly and still does is going to Al-Anon meetings. There is something so special about hearing others talking about their own situations and hearing that they've made it through things we never would have imagined our selves getting through.  The love and support is phenomenal and I definitely recommend the program with my whole heart. 


If you'd like to find a meeting where you live, you can go to the website: www.al-anon.org or the phone number is 1-888-4-al-anon. 


In the meantime, these boards are great places to come and get support. 

I'm glad you're here.  :)

Hugs,
Tracy



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Annie


Senior Member

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New member, thank you for posting.  I just found out from my son's girlfriend that he is behaving just as my A does--making promises and breaking them, drinking when he should be assuming other responsibilities, and definitely not living up to his work potential--hardly has any money but always has enough to drink.


It is so sad when we wish we could fix things, but we can't.  My heart aches right along with yours.  Please keep posting.  I will pray for you and your family.  Love and prayers, Annie



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lildee


Senior Member

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Posts: 114
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Hi RJ1978,


Welcome to the site.


 


The heartache of relapses is a brutal blow. But you must come to realize that nothing in this world will stop the addict/alcoholic from doing as he/she chooses. You have no control over them. You did not cause their disease, you cannot control it, nor can you cure it. (The 3 C's).


 


As others have suggested find local face to face meetings in your area, get a sponsor, work the Steps and do lots of CAL reading.


By doing these things you will build up your own strength and be given the tools of Al-Anon.


My hubby has relapsed 3 times and I would not have made it through if it weren't for this wonderful program.


 


Please join us for on line meetings here, and keep posting it puts a ray of sanity in your life.


My prayers are with you.


Love & God Bless


lildee


 


 



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Love and God Bless
shimo


Senior Member

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Posts: 216
Date:
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Hi RJ:


I am so glad you have found us and I am so sorry to hear what you are going through with your son.  This is a great place for support & understanding and we have on-line meetings as well.  You could also checkout the Al-Anon meetings in your area.   Al-Anon has been a lifesaver for me.  I attend a face-to-face group and also attend meetings on-line here. There are some of us here who have been through what you are going through and have benefited greatly from the experience, strength and hope shared by other members. 


Prayers to you and your family.


Shimo



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The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
RJ1978


Newbie

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Posts: 3
Date:
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Thank You to everyone for responding, i know that i'am not alone.


 



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