The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello "Family" I know it's been a while since I've posted. Things are going ok here. I almost "relapsed" but forced myself to talk to him about what was bothering me. Unfortunately, the conversation wound up being about HIM because he interuppted me when I was explaining what I was feeling and why. I, of course, stopped talking, got ticked off, and went in the house. I went to our room and sat alone in the dark breathing and saying the Serenity prayer in my head over and over. It worked. I calmed down. Since then, things are ok. I've been irritated with the fact that I don't see him but an hour a day because if he's not at work, he's gone to a meeting. I talked to him about that yesterday and told him I understand that this is what he has to do, but it doesn't change the fact that I miss him. I got out what I was feeling without fighting, or whining and I felt better.
Life with him has been difficult the past couple of weeks because he was on an oral steroid treatment for a problem with his feet. Put THAT with him coming up on his 1st birthday next week equals one very difficult sober alcoholic. I've been talking to my sponser quite a bit the past 2 weeks because of it. She's getting better at actually TALKING to me about stuff now too. So we'll see what happens there.
Friday is his 1st birthday. He's never made it this far before. I have to keep reminding myself of that when he's acting extremely assish (yes that's a word I just made it up). He's doing quite well with his program. He got a phone call last night from a guy whose been sober for 4 days and really wanted a beer. Don't know what was said because he went outside to talk, which is cool. He told me he told the guy that he could call anytime. It's times like that that make me so proud of him. He's come a very long way, I know he has a long way to go too. But he's on the right path finally.
I was on my way to sleep the other night saying the Serenity prayer over and over and over when I started to REALLY THINK about what it's saying. I really broke it apart and THOUGHT about it: Grant me the serenity to ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE : I cannot change ANYONE, especially the alcoholic. COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN : courage to change ME and MY outlook on things and the way I do things. AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE: THAT is the key: WISDOM. To be able to KNOW that you CANNOT change anyone but yourself.
I am chairing a meeting at the end of July, perhaps that will be our topic.
Hey Jennifer! I am glad to be part of your "family"! It is good to see you back--I took a break, too. Just enjoy the fact that He is 1 year sober. My husband has 20 months today again! He has been in and out of the program for over 30 years and seems to get it now! All I can do is support him in whatever he does including staying away from casinos. I know that is an outside issue but that is part of his disease--he is compulsive, addictive and obsessive just like me. Anyway, hang in there! We all care. Kathleen
Jennifer, I am new to this board, but not new to Alanon, did you realize how much you talked about the A and not about whats happening in your life. I know from experience when I focus on the A, my life is off. I have been married to the A for 26 years and he just now has been sober for 7 days. Gratitude is in order for me, but my life is not focused on the A, I have so many other interests that are so creative and interesting. The subject of the A or alcoholism has become so boring and droning endlessly about their disease, I can't stand it anymore. When people ask me how is my husband, I switch the subject. Jennifer , as someone who cares about women who live with A's, you don't have to deal with the A, let them deal with their problem. LIVE your life as creatively as you can. Luv, Bettina
I just made it up). He's doing quite well with his program. He got a phone call last night from a guy whose been sober for 4 days and really wanted a beer. Don't know what was said because he went outside to talk, which is cool. He told me he told the guy that he could call anytime. It's times like that that make me so proud of him. He's come a very long way, I know he has a long way to go too. But he's on the right path finally.