Living in the now... - Al-Anon Family Group

Suzannah · ~*Service Worker*~

Living in the now...

Diva · ~*Service Worker*~

"...am I meant to jettison my past and not even think about my future?"

Yes, I believe we must jettison the past. There is nothing that already happened that we can change. "Living in the now" and learning to insure ourselves a better, more productive, fulfilling, happy future seems to me a reasonable thing to do. We must think about our future lest we make the same mistakes when the future arrives.

It is all a matter of semantics...syntax if you will...and can be interpreted in different ways.

Love to you Suzannah,

Diva

drucilla06 · Senior Member

Here's my interpretation...

I work at a home improvement center and this is our busy time,Spring and Summer.All the focus is on the lawn & garden department,inside and outside.
As usual in retail, help is hard to keep.Last week I was asked by my boss to go outside and water trees. It was about 8 pm and the sun was just going down.It had been a warm day and was starting to cool off.There weren't very many customers,just a few stragglers.
Normally I would be a wreck inside worrying about my department and how I was going to get my work done.
But something else happened.As I watered the trees I found myself getting very relaxed and calm.It's like it was just me, the water,and the trees.I could hear voices around me and sometimes I would listen to what they were saying.I could feel the soft breeze,smell the flowers around, hear the water running.Water always relaxes me anyway.I noticed how very 'in the moment' I was.I was completely 'living in the now'.Not fretting about what I wasn't getting done,or worrying about what I'd have to do tomorrow.I told myself that I had been sent out there by a manager and I was doing what I was told to do.Might as well enjoy it and I did.I watered for over 2 hours.It was so peaceful.
I cannot remember ever being that relaxed at work.In fact when I went back in to finish up my other work I was so relaxed I just sailed through it.Normally I would dart around upset that I was pulled away to do 'someone else's job'...blah,blah,blah.
So I think living in the now just means being present for the moment.Focusing on what you are doing,how you are feeling,what is going on around you, RIGHT NOW.Not worrying about tomorrow or feeling badly about yesterday.I don't think it means you don't plan for your future or think about past events.
You just don't dwell.That's what I think living in the now means.

Dru

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha Suzanna!!

One of the many guidelines I have for "living in the present" is that right now I am what I am. I am not what I use to be or what I may be later on. I am now
and this is all I can be now. Today is hindsight and in hindsight I can form new
solutions for myself right now. With the use of hindsight I will hopefully do the
best with what I have right now. I can make plans for the future and might
even dabble in expectations of fulfillment however since I am a changeable human being with "choices" my future is dependant upon those two and then
many other unforseen influences. That insures that I am rooted in the now
and this is where I can do my very best with what I have that is the product
of some of my past and the experiences of others that should I be granted
a tomorrow I will be more certain to do my very best there also should I not
choose to do something unplanned.

Many old wise philosophers spoke of staying in the now. I wonder where
they got the idea and why they tried to pass it on. hmmmmmm.

(((((hugs))))) smile

Karilynn · ~*Service Worker*~

((((((Suzannah)))),

For me "living in the now" means just that. To stay focused on the present place and time. It doesn't mean forget your past. You can't. But I am notorious at playing head games with myself. You know the games: "What if..." , "If only....." and the list goes on. I try really hard not to project too far into the future. When I having hard days, I have to shift my focus to the here and now so I don't end up sabotaging myself. For me it goes hand in hand with ODAT. I can't change the past. I don't know what the future holds. All I can do is the best I can here and now, at this place and time. Hope this helps. Much love and blessings to you and your family.

Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty smile

Suzannah · ~*Service Worker*~

Okay, I am plain dumb!

Diva, I understand the semantic and the syntax route, the past has brought me here, what I do with the now will affect my future, it is much the same as tacking when sailing, using the wind to keep oneself off the rocks and not getting blown onto the rocks.

Drucilla, I found that watering the trees was a really good example of getting into the present moment, relaxing, not worrying about what was but just doing it and then finding that the relaxation brought you the benefits of renewed energy to enable to you finish your own stuff...experienced that many times over.

Jerry, I am what I am, what a way to go...back to the philosophers and that wonderful book "The Sacrement of the Present Moment" by Jean-Pierre de Caussade - a well read book of mine...why did I not see that Al-anon was relating in the same fashion? Reliving the past, staying in the past will not take me anywhere, look at the now and move forward into the future.

Karilynn -geez by remembering to "living in the now" I would not have had to post about the what if and the other stuff that I did post about nipping at my heals just a couple of days ago. Yes you certainly help me here. If I keep in the present moment I will not be dragged back to the past.

So thank you, one and all, guess it is back to the work-board at this moment in time!
Suzannah

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.