The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I never thought it would happen, but it has: I wasn't surprised today by my A. I have talked to him almost everyday this week. Mostly due to him "needing" a wake up call for work. I put that in quotes because I KNOW he doesn't NEED one, he just says/thinks he does. Anyways, I've borrowed the truck to go to an interview an hour away, and I've seen him at my daughter's birthday party at McDonald's. (THAT was unexpected because I thought he'd be at work but he was running late and "was getting something to eat.") Anyways, the point is it's NOT like I haven't talked to him and it's NOT like I haven't seen him. I also have emailed I think once or maybe twice to let him know some things that he needed to know. He has not once asked/informed/told me he needed me to wake him up TODAY. When I know he has to work, I'll call him. He's been off this weekend and had his teenage boys there because they are on Spring Break. Therefore I haven't called him. He called me this afternoon around 1:45 and said to me "the ONE time you don't call..." He needed to be at a side job this morning to finish painting these massive bookcases. I told him he NEVER said anything to me. Told him he could have sent me an email, but I received nothing. Told him it was NOT MY fault he didn't get up. No communication = not getting what you want/need. He said there was nothing at the house he was painting at; no phone, no tv, no radio. I told him there was a clock radio in the shed he should take that with him and as a matter of fact he could take that very same clock radio into the bedroom and use it for his alarm!!! He said he might do that.
He's also irritated at his boys because they have gone to websites they weren't supposed to and because of that he's had all kinds of pop up's stating there might be spyware and all that crap. So he had to work on that. When I got off the phone with him, I told my mom about the computer thing and had to laugh because I think he's seeing that he DOES need someone when he's not home if for nothing else but for monitoring the boys. But, NOT my job! He and I aren't married and I don't live there anymore! Therefore, not my responsibility. Of course, IF I still lived there, I WOULD watch and make sure they didn't do anything they weren't supposed to.
I'm not sure what will happen. I'm not sure what I want to happen. I find it a bit humorous though. He called to say he wanted to come get me so we can watch the Lady Vols play tonight. I asked him when could I expect him and he said he wasn't sure because he said he was still doing the scan on the computer and wasn't wanting to leave the boys alone. I quietly laughed to myself. He said he'd probably be here around 7 p.m. I told him he would have to bring me home, he said no problem.
I wonder if he's begining to see exactly what he's missing with not having me there. I don't know. He may never see it, and that's ok. I'll procede with my life with him in it as much as I can with him sober. (9 months on the 27th of March) He hasn't been sleeping. Last night he didn't sleep because it was his 5 year old son's birthday and he wasn't able to see him. When his son was born, he had a cleft lip and needless to say, he was a bit freaked out. They wisked the baby away to run tests to make sure everything else on him was ok because a cleft lip is usually a "symptom" of something MAJOR. But fortunately the baby was fine except for the lip. After many surgeries an many sleepless nights for mom and dad, he's fine now. You really can't tell either. The plastic surgeon did a fantastic job. Michael still worries about his son. He doesn't see him because his ex is angry because he hasn't paid his child support on time, but he DOES pay it. AND he DOES CARE about his son. Unlike the sperm donor's that have created children with me. They CARE nothing about my kids. She should consider herself lucky that Michael cares. But, it's not my fight and I've never said anything to her about anything. In fact, I don't talk to her at all. She irritates me because her son does not speak properly due to lack of communication from people. He is stuck in a room with the television and has practically no interaction at all. Michael hadn't seen him in 8 months, and when he DID see him last month for his yellow belt ceremony, the child had NOT grown an inch nor gained a pound!! He and I find that very interesting. But, I say nothing as it's none of my business. And yes that is difficult.
He should be here soon, so I should probably get ready to go. I feel like poo though. My kids have bronchitis and now my mother and I are getting it. YAY
