The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just wanted to request from you some prayers for me if you dont mind. I need my life to get on track. I know the road i am going down is not the one that i want to live in yet i have been doing it for 6 months, i have been praying but i am not consistant in the things i say.. No means no, not to everyone though. I keep praying for courage to carry this out and every time i think i have it, i do not. I need my kids at this age to b e ok. Not enter in a life i never ever wanted them in and have not, until now. So please help me pray... for courage, for strength to trust myself, even though i have made huge mistakes.... To have faith, to go through what i have to go through without falling way to far down which feels like im about to do. Most of all i need my sanity back. To actually know that it is ok to not want this in my life and that i will be fine completely alone. That i can let go of what is not good in my life for me and for my children.
Thanks for letting me vent
kerry
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Life can only be understood backwards, But it must be lived forwards
We are here for you and understand exactly what you are saying... I certainly do. You have my prayers that you can come to an agreement with your HP on what the next right thing is ... and the courage to go there. No matter what that step is we are on your side...
*smile*
Whatever it takes... take care of you.
Love in the program, ron
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
I have been seeing the blessings I have been given this week. I was so scared to let go of certain people and behaviors that I just didn't. And now that I have, all of the negative people and behaviors are being replaced. It is the strangest, nicest thing. I guess I am making room for the good by letting go of the bad. It IS scarey and it has taken me years. And to be honest, most of the letting go was done because whatever it was I was hanging onto, finally disappeared. I had no choice. But HP has taken care of me. Maybe not in the way I told Him to, but I have been taken care of!
My life wasn't immediatly ok either. Infact, it was the oppisite of ok. It is only in retrospect that I see that I really was ok. Just keep doing the footwork, the next right thing and it will all start to fall into place. Trust your HP, have faith that if you jump you will fly.
I'll do you one better than my own prayers, Kerry. I'll give you the tools to assist with your prayer.
One of my goals my sponsor gave me was to read from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, and when I was done reading a specific number of pages, she asked me to RE-READ a certain span of pages in the book. Pages 85-88 starting from the paragraph that begins: "It is easy to let up on the spiritual program..."
Within those pages is some very great advice on prayer and communicating and reflecting with your HP.
Here is the direct link to those pages (thank goodness AA puts their book online!) http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_BigBook_chapt6.pdf
Just scroll down until you reach page 85 and then ABSORB.
I haven't fully read the text, but when I saw your post for help, I thought immediately of these pages my Sponsor spoke of. I took the time to find the pages and read through them to make sure the knowledge therein applied, and I think it really, really does.
Remember - WE are affected with the disease of alcoholism just as much as our spouse, parents, children, etc. are. So the Big Book certainly applies to us Al-anoners just as much as it applies to the A's.
I hope you can find some serenity. Sit still, be quiet and let your HP speak.
(((KerrY))) is very nice to see your post and that you are "reachin out" for strength. love that you have come here .. for that. this is a wonderfulll forum. i understand what your going through. decisions and boundaries are not always easy to stick to and sometimes i have to rethink how i have decided on them and how to better make my decision... into one that is good for every person involved. there is a way.. let time have it for a bit. just because we set a boundary doesnt mean its written in cement. it can be adjusted to fit our family and our lives better... its a learning process tooo. ..time will heal and the decisions to make changes will show themselves. ((HP/Gods)) got You. and HPS got this too. i just have to believe and let go for a while....the answers will come. (((kerry))) i dont want you to feel scared. please know you are not alone. keepin you in my thoughts and prayers. everything is going to be ok. i tell myself, "you are in control of your day, today ,.. one minute at a time if needed (one day at time.") I try not to project. (only one (lol) of my worst weaknesses) . .. I am so thankful for everyone and love being able to visit with others that can help me feel good about myself. Alanon does that.
Work the Steps WoRk IT woRk IT
i keep comin here and to my meetings to be around others that help me to feel sane. it always help me to allow myself to feel better and stronger being around others that are reaching for and finding ways to carry ~ to guide my /our inner self and ways to maintain my / our own personal positive spirit.
i love yas! ..... hope to see ya in chat and at some of mips meetings.
this too shall pass. Keep Moving Forward Keep Looking uP
this is a wonderfulll forum. i understand what your going through. decisions and boundaries are not always easy to stick to and sometimes i have to rethink how i have decided on them and how to better make my decision... into one that is good for every person involved. there is a way.. let time have it for a bit. just because we set a boundary doesnt mean its written in cement. it can be adjusted to fit our family and our lives better... its a learning process tooo. ..time will heal and the decisions to make changes will show themselves. ((HP/Gods)) got You.
and HPS got this too. i just have to believe and let go for a while....the answers will come. (((kerry))) i dont want you to feel scared. please know you are not alone. keepin you in my thoughts and prayers. everything is going to be ok. i tell myself, "you are in control of your day, today ,.. one minute at a time if needed (one day at time.") I try not to project. (only one (lol) of my worst weaknesses) . .. I am so thankful for everyone and love being able to visit with others that can help me feel good about myself. 
Alanon does that. 
woRk IT 
it always help me to allow myself to feel better and stronger being around others that are reaching for and finding ways to carry ~ to guide my /our inner self and ways to maintain my / our own personal positive spirit. 
Keep Moving Forward