The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I read this in a "Dear Annie" column a few weeks ago - and actually, the letter writer was addressing bi-polar disorder, but the following phrase from her letter really struck a chord with me:
The brain is a physical organ subject to malfunction, the same as every other organ of the body, and treatment should be considered the same as treating a heart condition.
For the longest, LONGEST time, I had a problem trying to equate alcoholism to being a disease. How can something that I view myself as a choice be some vague disabling thing that other people simply have no control over like cancer or heart disease?
That quote above really, REALLY made it all make sense to me. The brain is a physical organ subject to malfunction. There it is, plain as day.
I too am fascinated with all the info they have about the brain now. It is really a help to alzeimers patients and parkinsons patients but the research for them has added so much to everything. Depression can be situational BUT often it is a brain dysfunction due to imbalance of brain chemicals - many try to self treat by using cigarettes, alcohol, narcotics to lift the pain of life be it anger, depression etc. Just like treating the disease of diabetes or thyroid or allergies.
I went to a dyslexia conference and the brain research for Parkinsons or Alzeimers has allowed the brain to be seen as used by dyslexics and there is some theory that dyslexics have different cells on the surface of their brain which is just starting to be studied as the possibility that our brains are evolving to be a more specialized brain for the future. My dyslexics are very smart with hands on tasks, problem solving etc but difficult to get it on paper for school grades. In the past, all of us could be successful in providing shelter, food, etc but then the printing press was discovered and those who didn't read as easiliy were labeled not smart.
Put all those perspectives to the alcoholic's brain and you can see how challenged they are, how smart they are to begin with, how they struggle once their solution starts to turn on them because the tolerance goes up - someday this is going to all be explained so easily when we fully understand all that our brain can do and how to help our brains in a healthy way.
chatty ddub (c:
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
Thanks for that, Aloha. I get very sad and frustrated when I feel like I have to defend a-ism as a disease. I have friends who say to me, "if he wanted it badly enough, he'd stop". Sorry. I can't buy that. It IS a brain disorder. No-one would throw away EVERYTHING (family, friends, a marriage, good relationships, a home, all of their belongings, their VERY beloved pets, jobs, jobs, jobs, jobs, sanity, spirituality, health, dignity, self-respect, respect from others) to choose a bottle. Either they're INSANE or their diseased. Either way - I don't think it's worthy of waving a shaming finger at them. Sorry....I just don't.
I think there are two ways to view this. Yes it is a disease and of course it may be tied to disfunction in the brain but it does not give one the exuse to cheat, lie and mistreat those who love them. I understand my AH has a disease. If he would have been honest and said "I'm sick, will you stay with me and help me" I would have done that but he used the alcohol as an exuse to sleep with other woman (I was drunk, but I love and want you!) and then lie about it countless times. I'm sure my codependency, which is my illness, is in my brain to but it doesn't give me the right to make my children suffer or those around me to suffer. Alcoholics, illness or not, cravings or not can have my compassion but not my attention anymore.
As an excuse to lie, cheat, steal, injure, manipulate, and hurt? No. Never okay. But there is carnage. The residual damage from a self-destructive disease is inevitable. Do I have to hang around and wait for the cr*p to be slung at me? nope. But if someone is working a program and has not set out to hurt me - then I can find no reason to slam him against the wall (metaphorically speaking, of course).
Honestly? My A has been guilty of all of the above except cheating on me, stealing from me, and injuring me. Guess those are kind of my "lines in the sand". I've most definitely been lied to, manipulated, and hurt, though.
