The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
One way I set myself up with the A was to expect anything much from him. This past week I had minimal contact with him. I had no expectatons. I had no fantasy he would say sorry, understand, be appreciative. He may never be. I do not set myself up for that anymore. I expect nothing from him ...what a hard thing that was to give up, the fantasy he might be there. He is totally and hopelessly addicted, the likelihood is very small. I do not buy in anymore. I am incredibly isolated and have many obstacles but one of them is no longer to buy into he can give me anything at all. He can't. The more I can see that the less I go down paths of expecting much from others. There are people in my house who do not like me. I can live with that. I no longer have to be ms supreme being, super social fix it for all. I have to fix it for me and my dogs that's it.
Aloha Mary...that's it!! you're there!! The idea behind the slogan "Let go and Let God" is "Let go absolutely". My sponsor taught me that having no expectations is setting myself up for happiness. If I don't have them and don't get any fulfilled then I am not hurt by it...however if I don't have them and I get something that I want or need...then I am pleasantly and happily satisfied. Having expectations sets me up and puts me on hold from working on my own program rather than waiting on someone elses. Can't tell you how I hated falling into that and how I work at not letting myself put my life on hold because of another persons will or will not.
Keep taking care of yourself and your program. (((((hugs)))))
