The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good morn Alanoners and Happy Holidays. Thanks for being there 24/7 with your esh and pm's. Actually it is now minus 10 degrees and a beautiful winter scene out my window. I have to work on seeing things for what they are and accepting what is. When it is 0 degrees or less you can't run and have to accept what is and make the best of this. I saw all three sons this holiday. The soldier is home this Christmas and struggles with many issues. He walked in with a pink bundle on his arm. I am a grandmother with a beautiful baby girl. My AHsober and I took turns bouncing her and it was so joyful. One son is working and creating a new life. One son brought home a roommate who is use to 80 degrees and the ocean. What an experience for him. My tendency is to hold my sons too close when they are here to fill that void my AHsober has left. And I tell myself no, let them go.
My AHsober said no he wasn't going on our annual ski trip with the boys and their cousins because you know we just don't get along. I managed to tell him that HE was part of the problem. I told him to commit to a plan and stick with it. No bailing out or changing the plan. He said that I was in control of the trip as always and he just followed along. I said that this was not about control but about that I am good at planning trips. We had a great time with our sons and their cousins. Then he announces that he is not coming to Christmas because he was depressed like my father use to get. I said won't you at least compromise? I think that I was in my disease in this request but I had the boys and the roomie at my house and our families were getting together. So we had a good Christmas with most sober and a few hung over. My AHsober cuts it off and leaves. He spent very little time with his sons. Had to go help his friends where he lives. I don't understand this because we don't see our sons very often. I just want to spend as much time as possible with them.
I need to take care of myself. An Alanon friend called and I called an Alanon friend. I pulled out my books and ODAT. I pulled up a speaker on the internet and as always the speaker said things that I needed to hear. When it is 0 degrees or less you have alot of time to hunker down and get to know yourself. I have alot of work to do and alot letting go to do. Going to wait until it warms up and put on my skies and listen for my HP.
Nancy - gosh doesn't this disease just leak out in every corner of our lives? I could feel your frustration and a wanting for a "normal" holiday experience (sure wish I knew what that was). Sounds like you're trying to stay on top of it, and doing what you know you need to do to take care of your side of the street. All we can do, right? Enjoy your winter wonderland - here's wishing you much peace in the new year. ~R3
Your post spoke volumes to me and I heard myself say, "Listen to this, for this is sound and the way to go."
I will listen to myself too and remember 0 degrees sensibility.
It sounds wonderful, wish I were putting on skis and coming with you. My marine is NOT home this holiday, but he is safe although is not without issues either so I found that an interesting thought to hold on to as well.
Wishing you all that your heart desires for the new year to come.
Thank you
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"The highest form of wisdom is kindness." The Talmund
Sounds like you're doing great...not perfect...great! Let the rest go. It is what it is and you're into progress not perfection anyway right? Good program!! 0 degrees...God that is not for humans is it? It can't be my mind doesn't even conseptualize that low a number. I like the roomie...Pacific and 80!! That's God's best temperature and everyone calls it Paradise. I empathized with your alcoholic and that part of his illness will pass too when he works for it. It's the only thing that can and will happen, IF he works for it.
Stay warm and in the solution. You do good program. I watch.
