The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Dear Al-Anon Family, I am spending my day today, (actually the past 3 days & nights) going back to the very beginning of posts (#236), and reading the Topics that are "catching my eyes" to read. I do not observe this holiday...and I will just leave it at that...because it's NOT IMPORTANT "WHY" to anyone but myself. Can we agree to that? <LOL> What IS...and has been IMPOR- TANT to me since August of 2005, is, I was introduced to MIP from a friend I met in another group, not whatsoever pertaining to alcoholism. I am 9 days shy of the first year away from my husband who has the disease. I am still struggling yes...I have my good days and bad days about it all...but today...I am grateful to be sitting in my own apartment and not praying to be some- where else instead, like I was this time last year. I am on this computer still looking for the help I know I still need from others going through the same ol struggles I am! I am happy for the most part, of how much my life has been changed the past 356 days! I most definately believe I am where I am suppose to be at this time and place in my life! I miss alot of things about my husband. But I can't go back and try to "help him see" why it is our marriage is where it is. Understanding all that I have learned since August of 2005...I have come a long way now to go back, and that, of course will always hurt me...but not to the point I have "regrets" about it. Does that make sense? Today I read some- thing from a past Topic (February 2005) by Maria123. Notice the date is just 6 months before I came into the group! The page is #228. The Topic: "Letting Go Of Those Not In Recovery". I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS!!! And I am going to write it and send it to the 2 brothers and 1 sister of my husband! His one brother and sister have had "internet contact" with me since I left. Not so much to do about the problem their brother is facing and why I had to leave. I recently emailed his sister and opened up to her and me being here at Al-Anon and that I hope his family didnt think everything was going peaches and cream for me, because it isn't! She hasn't replyed back. This post I came across to- day is just perfect for me as far as I'm concerned and I will pass it on to them! They don't have to like it, they don't have to care about how I feel about any- thing! Maybe...I say "MAYBE" it will help them too, as it did me! Only time will tell! It doesn't matter really either way. What I want to pass along to the "senior members" is that you may have forgotten all about something you wrote years ago...in this case...over 2 yrs...but what an impact it can still have on someone like me. I have a journal that is getting to the point it can't hold much more of all the things that someone has posted here at one time or an- other and I wrote it down! I have to start another one soon! LOL Sometimes I let my closet friends read it, and they say "Wow"..."you have come a long way"! And I say..." I hope so"! "Because I wouldnt be where I am now if not for the things I've written here"! And they will ALWAYS be here when I need them to encourage me again! Well...have a great day everyone! I'm back to reading and writing again! Some of you have been around a LONG TIME!!! <LOL> THANK GOODNESS! I'm going to be "busy" along time to come! It will help pass the next coming days I'll be grieving about away"! Love ya'll! Hugs, Korinne
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Today, I am grateful to be on the path of dealing with my life and continuing to grow truly stronger.
I checked out the page about Letting Go of those not in recovery. Thank you for sharing this and thanks to Maria123 for her post. It helps me understand a lot of things going on in my family - a few of us are on the bridge but looking back, torn between family members on both sides of the bridge. Makes the two steps forward and one step back a visual for the struggle. Progress is being made but the struggle seems to get harder, makes sense a bit more now.
I like this very much too hugs, ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
WOW I've done this same thing, I went back to the first day I posted and then I printed them out and placed them in a 3 ring binder....I am now a few months behing but whenever I doubt myself, I get out the binder and read. I can't imagine where you are right now in life, you have made such major changes in life, you should be very proud of yourself....know I'm always here for you. Hugs my Friend.
The bridge, as I call it, was something tangible when I was so feeling guilty about what I perceived to be leaving my loved ones behind.
Like you, one day about five years ago, my best friend who has known me most of my life told me that though she has loved me all along, she noticed something very different in me and realized that I was a lady who was loving herself in a serenity way (I was very different prior to program).
The greatest gift of this program is passing on things that I have learned from others and knowing that they might help someone else. "We have more in common with each other (the affects of alcoholism) than we have that separates us." Thank you for reminding me to keep sharing what I've learned.
love in recovery, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Well...have a great day everyone! I'm back to reading and writing again! Some of you have been around a LONG TIME!!!
