The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
...got to feel good about this as I think I am experiencing a breakthrough from the brick wall I seem to have come up again just lately; and it is all because I have friends here to talk to, who listen and them discuss and share their experiences and what has worked for them [and sometimes what has NOT worked for them either]. Having no-one to physically approach and talk to about all the alanon tools and step work during these last 16 years, I have found it nigh impossible to make progress in my recovery, instead I have come to realise that I have simply been getting on with survival and existance and not looking at the QUALITY of my life; however once again you, my wonderful family, have played a significant part in my new understanding. I have come to realise that it is not so scary to look my character defects in the face, were as before whenever I found a defect I crumbled and ended up feeling like the lowest form of pond life. Now I am taking the bull by the horns and writing my inventory with quite a NEW ATTITUDE. I am treating this in the same way as I approached learning a new subject in school, or a new dance routine from scratch; I approached them with positive anticipation of learning something new and mastering it, because I was open to the experience and was not afraid of 'getting it wrong in the beginning', [because I knew that I was bound to get something wrong and it would be an amazing feat if I did not when I was in the beginning stages of study/learning], and that I would get it right in the end with practice and help and if I remained open to being teachable as my sponsor says, or in other wordsby being humble.
So I hope that this little insight of mine will encourage anyone else who has been scared to step out and draw up a '...moral and fearless inventory...' in order to move forward. By finding what I am doing wrong, or where I am going wrong, or what I am thinking wrongly, I will find the RIGHT thing to do, the right way to go and the right way of thinking.
So I am celebrating my family who have turned on the light switch for me and helped me to see what I am really doing by taking that step forward in faith is learning the right way to live, and that I will not be doing anything that will bring me down it will only serve to LIFT ME UP.
However, if I have got this wrong, please let me know as I am like an infant in this school and still yearning to get to grips with the program.
Heartbroken.
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"The highest form of wisdom is kindness." The Talmund
That is inspiring Heartbroken! Don't forget to name your strenghts also. As a wonderful friend of mine here once told me: many of our character defects are just our strenghts that have become out of control. It's not all about the negative qualities. The program has explained the 4th step as an inventory. When a grocer takes an inventory of the things on the shelf he looks at what he has, writes that down, sees what he needs to order that he is out of or low on, writes that down. He doesn't put himself down because he is out of milk, he simply notes it in his inventory. Then he knows what he has and what he needs. Everyone says that working the steps is the best way to recovery! Good luck!
"I have been getting by with survival and existence and not looking at the quality of my life"
That is so me. I am not happy and it is up to me to do something about it. Yea and I am doing my 4th step too. And really so looking forward to it. I think that this is called recovery and working a program.
how inspirational. Good to hear your esh. I work the progam as best I can every day. The quality of my life has been very difficult. Clearly for me it was much much much harder with the a. However it was not always like that.
Good for you! As Serendipity said, DON'T forget to list the positives in your inventory too. We all have them, but it's much easier for us to list the 'negative', and ignore the positives!
(((hugs)))
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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
