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Well the AH hasn't had a drink for 3 days. But he's driving me insane. He wants to argue with me every minute of every day. I haven't been returning his arguments until today. I just lost it. The argument was over something stupid and I just went nuts. Usually I can busy myself with housework or something and tune out his ranting but today I guess I was at my limit.
My next meeting isn't until Wednesday 2 more days. It's also my birthday that day. With my work schedule the only meeting I'm able to make it to is that one, because I always have wednesday nights off. I just feel I'm failing at my program because I haven't stopped trying to control his drinking.
I really need to vent today. During the argument he started to attack my involvement with Al-anon. He kept saying I haven't learned anything from them yet. He himself doesn't attend AA meetings anymore, and has only been twice that I know of. He has the Big Book but I doubt he has read it. I have read it from cover to cover. That it what made me start to go to Al-anon.
I told him today I am a work in progress and I will continue to work on me. Thanks for listening everyone. It helps to have this board to vent from time to time.
Cookie
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A person's a person no matter how small --Dr Suess
Hello Cookie and welcome to Stark Raving Sober ,sheeeeesh. Try to not bite the carrot he dangles in front of you when picking an argument , if you have an ODAT try page on july 14th ,drunk or sober this program works . the line that really stood out for me was * don't assage his guilt by arguing with him * And when my husb started to attack my prog , or lack of it according to him . I let him rant then i said if it werent for Al-Anon you would not have a family left. that was the last time he said anything derogetory about my meetings. stay focused dont' play his game and your going to be just fine . Remember he is raw every fiber of his being is screaming for a drink , his problem . don't take it on .Louise
I can definitely relate to this one. I aruged with the A till I lost my voice. Detaching is indeed a real art. I had to practice and practice and practice. Then I had to focus really hard on not dealing with his issues and working on mine. I made a lot of backtracks along the way.
I feel for you. I really know how it is to be under assault.
Do we share the same husband? Is it something in the water? Is it something in the Y chromosome? The men around me are driving me nuts both and home and at work. I am desperately trying to stay up for the meeting tonight because I sure need one. The November 12 reading from The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey is about control. I've read it numerous times today! I've got to remember to focus on me not his actions. Remember Step 1. Hang in there. Hopefully it will get better for all of us.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I also have a page for you from the ODAT...page 13. Read it slowly.
I won't do a commercial for being a man and I will never be a saint. Lord and spouse know that there have been "times" LOL However lets be honest about who's side of the street we are suppose to keep clean.
Recovery isn't a gender issue it's a personal need. Either he is the problem and you would otherwise be perfect or you are the problem and need help. I chose the second one and still choose it. By the way my spouse is also a member of the Worldwide membership of the Al-Anon Family Groups. She has been a faithful, regular, fully participating female member for lots of years. She doesn't even believe that there is something like a "Am I better than..." test. If there was such an exam she wouldn't attempt it. I wouldn't either and I have 9years of chronicalogical age on her and 12 years more recovery experience in this program. Progress...not perfection.
Just a piece of experience? If he hasn't already he might be near going back out. Take care of yourself.
The men around me are driving me nuts both and home and at work. 
I am desperately trying to stay up for the meeting tonight because I sure need one. The November 12 reading from The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey is about control. I've read it numerous times today! I've got to remember to focus on me not his actions. Remember Step 1. Hang in there. Hopefully it will get better for all of us.
