The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello, changed my animal sanctuary to, "Eden's Heart" for obvious reasons. Will not have that name a whole lot longer.
Have to have it a year and 4 months two weeks and 17 days or so more to draw on his social security...
Anyway as you know he boinked someone else so I am free to remarry. so I am going thru my looooong line of men just waiting...right.
I do have someone sorta maybe I hope so. Somethings have to be resolved with his life first.
Anyway I find myself in so much pain it is hard to be positive. So far they cannot figure out what is wrong, but sadly seems to be the arthritis for which there is nothing to do for me, but shoot me.
I ruled that out....My knee is now cantalope size. At least it is something they can see so I don't seem like a hypochondriac. geez. I will beg for a cortizone shot in many places soon.
It is mud city here on Eden's Heart. But all the rock and changes have helped. My yard is ready to landscape now. (c: smile, smile, smile!!!
12 pigs are in the potted pig stall. I love it.
Three are in a nice pig house they refuse adamnetly to leave, two are in the new shed where cat food regularly drops on their heads. Need i mention why they stay there and have warm chickens sleep on them?
All are well sheltered. cept me I suppose. soon soon that will be taken care of.
My thoughts of A still haunt me. But I know it is normal as he was a wonderful husband who woke up from surgery brain damaged and loaded on pills.
So I am grieving his death. However am no longer carrying a desire to be with him at all. Cuz him is not HIM.
Been having awful nightmares to where I cannot feel rested. Probably from pain.
so here are my realities.
I have all the animals I want/need and they are more than spoiled. they love me, protect me, keep me warm and centered.
My home, though still funky, is mine, free to live here, have a w and d. stove well all I need. cept a roof that does not leak. though I have plenty of drip catchers until it is fixed.
Have nice warm levis and wool sweaters,socks etc. My hair is barely grey and am 54.
have two loving kids and one so much fun busy, adventurous and brave grandson, my sprout. a great cousin, many nice friends.
um I love alanon and its sis and bros.
I can cry, I can see feel, cept for my right carpal tunnel hand, um walk except for the pain in me a** and knee.
can see fir trees, blue skies with rainclouds and my mountain from where Iam sitting.
NO one tells me what to do, is mean to me, or hurts me.
My money numbers are much better. still not a lot but enough and a bit more.
I have my hp who is the number one father in my life and the number one priority.
I am not bad looking for 54, may have a chance at a tummy tuck. that would ease some BIG obstacles like all my jeans fall off. Cannot find ones that fit as my legs are small and muscley as they can get and my baby tummy thing is not going anywhere....shaped so weird I am.
so that is part of mine.
gotta get busy. hugs to all,debilyn looking for grampas cane....
Debilyn: I hope you will soon have a clean dry home. I am thrilled for your pigs. My dogs adore cat food I am not sure what the magic ingredient is. My animals sustain me so well.
I am so glad for you that you feel over him. I do better somedays than others.
Thanks for sharing debilyn. What you need to add to your list is that you give so much experience, strength and hope to others here at MIP. It seems so many are in your situation. The A is gone physically or mentally and doesn't know we exist and we find ourselves by ourselves. And we survive and even better we learn to live our lives. We have so many pluses. And those animals that love us unconditionally. Hope your love works out.
Besides the health issues it sounds wonderful where you are. I had to smile about the pigs and the chickens myself. I want pictures. We just have to be happy with what we have. Its hard getting through a death but time does heal. Girl, if you can get a man more power to you...hehehe Cause gawd knows I can't find one to save my life and I'm 35 and no major health issues and have been told I'm attractive. I just think there is a shortage of men out there. Don't let that get to you, there just aren't any. Sorry guys. ;) Sounds like you are doing really good. I'm happy for you. I hope you physically better hun. xoxox
