The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My husband is an alcoholic. It's tearing us apart. I have a 7 month old daughter that he watches 2 days a week so we don't have to send her to daycare. Last Friday he was found passed out on the sofa while she was screaming in her crib. I told him I no longer feel safe with him watching her. He gives me every excuse in the world. Financial trouble-we'll get separate accounts, nothing gets done in the house-I make him feel bad for doing nothing so why do it. The list goes on and on.
I'd like to go to a meeting but I have no one to watch my baby. I have a counselor that I see once a month because I can't afford anything else even though we both work. My account is drained and I didn't pay any bills this week.
I love him, but I'm tired of doing this. Not speaking, arguing, getting called names.
Welcome to Alanon, Destynee. You are in a real tough spot, but you aren't alone. And you don't have to live this way, either, there are many options for you.
First, see if there are Alanon meetings in your area that have a babysitter, I've seen them advertized. Also, there may be meetings where in a pinch (and you are in one) a baby or child may be brought into the meeting. You are in great need of support right now, and Alanon is all about support. In the meantime, there are online meetings on this site as well as the message board we're on now.
Learn all you can about alcoholism. We consider it a "disease", which doesn't absolve the alcoholic of his or her behaviors, but it gives us a way to look at and understand what is happening to our loved ones.
Alcoholism does tear families apart all the time. Most of us can't deal with living with an active drinker or drug user. It's just too much. And the safety of the precious babe is paramount. My first husband did a similar thing when my daughter was almost two years old. I came home to find her in her highchair and him passed out on the floor. He didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with that. I was pregnant with her little brother at the time but I packed the car and left him anyway. She could have fallen or been strangled by trying to get out by herself.
Come to Alanon to get the help you need, there are ways to "deal" with him and many options open to you. You don't have to live like this, even if you do stay with him.
I'm glad you are here, and hope you come and be involved with us as much as you possibly can :)
Hi and welcome , pack up baby and take her to a meeting most don't mind and you never know u may find one that offers day care or someone in the meeting may have a daughter that is old enough to sit for an hr while u go to a meeting . And your right u cnnot leave your child alone with him she has to be your first concern right now he is an adult he will figure it out sooner or later. here is the toll free internataional number for meetings in your area please call 1-888-4alanon Don't give up there is always hope . take care of you and baby there is nothing u can do about him . Louise
((((Destynee))))) <-----hugs, Welcome to MIP, so glad you found us.
I would like to echo the suggestion of taking your baby with you. When I first started meetings I had my two year old with me and I was expecting my second child (which of course made her the least noisy of the two). No one minded, they all understood. I met some really great women and men who offered me all the support they could, I found people I could trust my kids with.
There are meetings here on MIP, that you can check out we offer them twice a day.
Hope to see you there. Serenity can be had.
Yours in recovery, Mandy
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"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
Again, from me - go to the meeting. Your baby will most likely sleep through it, or you can bring a bottle for her and just hold her. She's young enough that n oone will mind talking in front of her (sometimes this is a problem if the kids are older than three or four) There is a whole group of people who have been just where you are - I raised two kids in an alcholic home. I wish that I had found the program when they were little - I would have made some better choices, both for me and for them.
At alanon you get a chance to really tell the truth about your life, to people who understand and won't judge, and won't just say "Leave him". You can hear the stories of others, and realize that you are not alone. You learn some strategies - some tools that may make everyday life easier. You get some calm and soothing relief for the pain you are in. And, afer a while, you can start to see a path to the right life for you - either with the Alcoholic in your life, or without him.
People usually don't mind a little one especially when you are trying to take care of yourself. Remember that you are not alone. There are alot of Alanon tools to learn to help you cope with your A.
Welcome to the MIP family. Here you will find great experience, hope, wisdom, strength and humor (good for the ). You are not alone in this journey of recovery. There are plenty of people just like you who bring babies to meetings. You'd be surprised.
Your recovery has to be about you and for you, regardless if your A chooses sobriety or not. It's about taking back your life and living the life you and your baby so richly deserves. Your recovery is absolutely possible. You have to do what is best for you and your baby.
His drinking is NOT your fault. Addicts don't need a reason to drink. Please learn as much as you can about this disease. The more you know, the more you'll understand that this is a family disease. An addict is going to do what an addict is going to do, sober or not. Nothing you can do about it.
Go back and read old posts, join us for online meetings or come into the chat room. If you can't afford your Alanon books, plenty of meetings offer reduced pricing or offer help so you can begin your recovery. Please keep coming back to us.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty <-- the cat
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
). You are not alone in this journey of recovery. There are plenty of people just like you who bring babies to meetings. You'd be surprised.