The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've spoke with ah a few times today and he never said Happy Anniversary. Even though it really means nothing to me at this point I just wondered if he'd even make that a priority. Nope. Seven years today. Is it wierd to not feel married? The distance between us (four hours) and him not showing up for three months has just left me totally empty. I don't say "I love you". I show no emotions when he's sick, if he has a problem or even if he's happy about something. He doesn't care. He STILL wants to stay married. Why? I stay married pretty much for the kids and financial reasons, I can't help but wonder why he wants to. I don't hate him at all. I just don't care. What would you guys do? Would you just let this day pass like any other, which is what I think I should do or.... should I take the kids out to dinner and celebrate something? What do you do?
Do your best not to ask him for some kind of recognition of what this day is. For me when I did that I got responses that only hurt me more. Do your best not to look to him to help you thru this day.
You could start a new tradition on this day with your kids -- something to celebrate the day that would eventually bring those beautiful children into your life.
I just yelled happily in our house and said "you know what kids? Today is going to be the best anniversay ever and you know why??? Because today is the day that me and daddy made US a family. So lets celebrate family" They all gave me a great big hug!! I guess we are off to the libarary and McD's for Sundae's for a family day. ;) (even though I know I don't need him to have this family)
What a great idea and a nice way to celebrate... uhhh, and much better than the way I celebrated our 18th yesterday. I just decided to stay silent, that it would be our "non-anniversary" and prayed for a better one next year. We ended up with some nice family time anyhow, probably much better than if I had brought attention to the "special" day.
Blessings,
Lou
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
I still celebrate my anniversary even tho my AHsober moved out 2 years ago. My mom still gives us an anniversary check because he has never filed for divorce. It means something to me because I still want to be married. And you're right, we got our wonderful families thru the union.
