The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
.... cause it makes up for days like today. (sigh)
Today is my wedding anniversary. 16 years and although we seperated once before now, this is the first time we have been seperated at the time of our anniversary.
This sucks. It has been very hard to remember that I love my wife today. Hard to sidestep the self-pity and the amazement that we can't live together even though she is "trying".
I appreciate her trying, although I don't know what she is doing to try, and I see no movement at all.
Right now I am just exercising my right to be angry... it will pass.
Sorry to dump this on you, but so glad you are here.
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
That's all right rtexas. I believe we all need to exercise the right to be angry once in a while. I think it is a healthy thing to feel it, recognize it, and work through it. Heaven knows I get angry sometimes, and from time to time my anger shows in my posts. I am glad we are all here for you too rtexas. We are all family here on this site, and that is what makes it a truly valuable place to be.
Take care,
Diva
-- Edited by Diva at 19:13, 2007-06-01
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Anniversary dates can be very painful. I hope you are able to sit through the pain so you can heal. I am so sorry you are grieving. May you feel the arms of HP surround you at this time.
We're here for the dumpin rtexas (big hugs) I sure hope your wife changes for the better and you two can work things out. It's so rare to have a man really want to see his wife get better and work things out. I know your HP will give it to you if that's what you want. I feel if my husband can change ANYONE has hope. Your a good man rtexas. Keep your heart right where it's at ;)
Anniversaries can be extremely painful. I don't think there can be a single one of us can't, hand on heart, say we don't get angry sometimes. It's a struggle. I'm still learning to feel the anger,hurt,disappointment and not stuff it.........and slowly feel it and work through it. I do better some days than I do others,but anniversaries,birthdays,special days kind of slam it home to me where I'm at and remind me I still have a long way to go.
Anger is healthy when recognized and released. It'd be hard not to feel that especially on this day. The wonderful thing about recovery is we get to start all over again any time we want. Here's to your fresh start.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
i can understand the right to be angry. I have been in touch with a friend recently who doesnt want me to express my anger. I know him well and know in his family of origin it was all passive aggression. I've found it hard going to deal with it. One of my traits is to just cut off. He is a good friend who doesn't like anger. I can live with that.
I have a 7 year anniversary coming up with the A. I feel desperately sad about it. At the same time I feel hugely relieved not to be dealing with his chaos day in day out.
One of the people who lives in my house is an alcoholic end stage. He is a chaos maker too. I make a huge point of not being involved on any level with him. I just cut off completely. I can't even entertain letting another alcoholic in my life on any level. I am mad that he lives there but I also know the way he is going he won't be there for long.
Thank you for all your encouragement during this recently really raw time for me. I know for me there is tremendous grief and sadness about the A.
Sending out prayers that your next anniversary will be celebrated in a much happier way. Feel the anger, vent with us as much as you need to - we have big shoulders - we can take it.
Hope you have a week filled with special blessings from your HP,
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
