The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
"Friendofyours" post about the economy being hard on so many of us really got me thinking. Lately I have had some very stressful times in my family, my children needing a lot of items and being sick and hospitalized and I have been very stressed out, and frankly "taking care of me" has taken a serious back seat in my recovery.
I shared this with a friend and her suggestions on how to "take care of me" all involved money I don't have to spare right now. She suggested going out for coffee, getting my nails done, having a "spa day", etc. I know that doesn't cost much, but when you are not only broke but WORSE than broke as in DEBT (yes friends, there is somethign worse than having NOTHING...and that is having LESS THAN NOTHING by being in debt up to your eyeballs) by putting needed groceries on a credit card...well...even a cup of coffee is out of your budget. Part of my recovery is staying financially responsible for my family's sake, I need to save room on my credit card for emergencies.
Anyway...who says that EVERYTHING has to cost money?
Please share with me your ideas for really taking care of yourself on a shoestring budget, or for free.
I am looking for creative ideas here, I already have the going for walks and bubble baths in mind. But after a while, these are just routine, exercise and self care. I am looking for really special CREATIVE ways to "take care of me".
I would appreciate any ideas, none will be too silly or too unorthidox. They don't all have to be free or really cheap, I would also like ideas for after this stressful period is over. I will hopefully get back on my feet this summer since we can all work, so I would like some indulgant ideas to look forward to also when I can afford them. Please share...
One of the things that I love to do but do not do too often is to go somewhere (preferably near a body of water) and have a picnic. I would also take a lounge chair and a good book and sit under a nice shade tree and read, listen to the sounds around me and stare at the water which usually has a very calming affect on me.
I also love "thrift shopping" and yard sales. I want to get into selling on ebay (to make a little extra $) which I have already started to do. I find many good items at thrift stores that people will pay more than double on ebay. It is exciting to watch the bidding going on. Also, you can rid your house of unwanted items and clothing.
Oh trust me, I know how those financial woes can get to you. We are on a very tight budget as well. Yes, it's a bummer. I work retail and the last thing I like to do is go shopping. But I do love to sit in a bookstore and browse all those big books. In order to save money, I bring my coffee in one of those to go mugs. Nobody has ever said a word to me. How do they know that I didn't purchase it there? I will plop myself down on one of those big chairs and loose myself for an hour or two. Another thing I like to do, is go to the garden centers and walk through all those big beautiful plants. Some places have those tropical sections which feels like a mini vacation. I'll request a cruise brochure to some place really exoctic, like the galapagos and imagine someday hubby and I will travel there in style.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Baking. There is nothing like baking a loaf of homemade bread, to relieve stress. You've got the real physical labour involved in the process, with the smells and textures. You've got the long wait time, while the house fills with yeasty aromas, and you accept that some things take time. You've got the actual hot bread - even if your efforts are less then perfectly successful, fresh hot bread is wonderful - any flaws don't really show up until it is cool, by which time it's all gone!
If the kids are any age except tiny tiny or hulking resentful teens, cookie and muffin baking with them is highly rewarding too. Much cheaper than buying this stuff.
If you are in a house rather than an apartment, you can garden . If your soil is poor, start composting right now - all you really need is an out of the way corner, you don't really need a compost bin, etc. Uses up your organic garbage. You can dig up a plot three feet by two, if that is all you have, and get some flowers (or tomatos?) going. This time of year, bedding plants can be bought for pennies, or even free, as it is getting a little late and they will be throwing them out. And it's not too late to start some things from seed. Again, the physical 'getting your hands in ' part is very theraputic.
TV movies and popcorn.
Library - some things you may not think of that you can get from the library are magazines, movies, music CD's and tapes, kid's books, some have toys and puzzles for kids to borrow. An offshoot of this is one of the best things I did during the worst times of my life - read to your kids! Even after they can read to themselves, pick something maybe a year or so harder than their own reading level. My kids and I were still reading together when they were quite big - 12 or so. My son would be 'too old, not interested' but I would find him sitting at the foot of his sister's bed, listening in, when we were reading something that he himself had loved a few years earlier....
Needlework. Again something that gets you a product, much much cheaper than if you bought it. Knitting might be the easiest to pick up, and yarn can be bought at yard sales for very cheap - the old lady who is selling it may be happy to give you pointers, too. Get someone who knows how to knit to show you the two main stitches, (knit and purl) and how to read a pattern, and everything else you need you can pick up from a good knitting book from the library.
Volunteer - this may not seem too much like 'me time' but it is refreshing to put your energies into someone else.
You know, some of my deepest, most delicious self-care times are often remarkably simple. Going to the library is a long-time favorite of mine--I like to get books, movies, and MUSIC! I have made some wonderful musical discoveries through the ecletic collection at the library. I also like making a beauty product out of an item I have at home is another (for example, a simple foot bath out of hotwater and olive oil). I also "rediscover" items I have at home. For instance, I dust off not-quite-new lotions and potions and create a spa day, or I rediscover a hobby I had let go, or I bring out the vase I haven't used in months. I also "rediscover" magazines I bought months ago.
The biggest thing that has helped to bring myself self-care is an intention. For example, my intention this summer is to really slow down my life style and drink in the serenity of the sunny days we are having by spending lots of quiet times outdoors!
The other thing I have done that has been a sanity-saver is before every action I take is to say: How can I take care of myself first? All of the teeny-tiny 30-second self-care actions I do before I launch into my next action really help me stay grounded and centered.
I also like to go out at night to enjoy the stars, and walk around the neighborhood during the day and appreciate all of the blossoms, etc.
If you have kids, creating the "Alanoner Family Camp" might be a wonderful way to celebrate summer.
I would like to add Habitat for Humanity -- building houses for others financial down. The activity is free and I have a great time. Fellowship, accomplishment and serenity (by keeping my mind on simple tasks) are my rewards.
Leaf collecting, using your own or the library's tree guide, could possibly be fun for a parent with adolescent or preteen kids.
Very interested to hear other comments!! cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
I am in your same boat alanoner. I wake up almost every night having panic attacks about money. Here's how I take care of me for free:
1. Read, read, read. I go to the library every week and check out fiction that has absolutely nothing to do with my reality. No books about alcoholics, nothing political, nothing that can help me dwell on the difficulties in my life. I only read things that take me to another reality.
2. Walk, walk walk. Just this morning I was walking by a creek in our town and I saw a gray heron standing in the creek, then he heaved himself up and flew down the creek. Then I turned around the bend expecting to see his, only to see a bunny, and a mallard family. It was a thing of beauty.
3. Gardening and cleaning house. I don't have any money for plants, but I with what I have to keep my lawn, garden, and house as clean and tidy as possible. It is one place where I can exert my control and it doesn't bother anyone (except when they make a mess right after I clean up!)
4. Friends and family. It doesn't cost a thing to simply visit.
Money woes are so stressful. It has been worse for me than my AH's addiction (although it is caused by the addiction). I can commisserate.
Instead of the spa, give yourself a mini spa day at home. Soak your feet, do your nails, make your own sugar scrub. Something I love to do is light my tiki torches in the back yard and read outside until sunset. It is so so peaceful, even with all the neighborhood kids out. Yoga is very therapeutic, and to CJ's point, volunteering is very, very satisfying.
On my next to non existent budget I manage to enjoy myself.
I too love baking but try not to do too much as I also love eating .
Gardening if you have the time and the space. I bought 9 tomato plants for $1.50 this year. I will freeze about 20 quarts from these plants. Nobody bugs me in the garden (because no one wants to help weed lmao).
The library is a great place, free books, cd's, dvd's etc.
Lets see, I bought a piece of fresh ginger yesterday for something like 17 cents. I slice it thin, took some mint from the garden, poured boiling water over the whole lot and I now have my fresh ginger mint tea that I would pay $2 a cup for in the cafe. I can invite friends over, we can sip our tea and enjoy each others company.
The knitting thing would throw me over the edge (I would strangle someone with the damn yarn) but I have friends who love it.
My pets who are part of the reason for the almost non existant budget. Nothing relaxes more than watching my kitty sitting in the window washing his face.
Good luck on your quest
lilms
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Two things: 1. Recovery is a process, not an event.....and.... 2. You only get to go around once. Leave em laughing and make it worth your while
It occured to me that, when one is physically able, to maybe find an organization in need of assistance time wise. The reality is that I live on less than minimum wage. Period. To avoid self pity and martyrdom, I volunteer, like CJ said. Get out and do something for someone else. Maybe there's an institution that needs the ESH of someone with long term recovery. Maybe there's a new comer that needs a ride to meetings, and is hesitant to go to meetings because she can't find a babysitter. Another thing that occurs to me is taht we just had memorial day--Project Dear Abby is always in full swing, and it all goes to the soldiers over seas. You send them emails thanking them for doing their job. For free. Remembering that I am not the center of the universe is always the foundation of growth for me.
A time when I know that no one will be home or if you have children at home they could join in the fun -
How about get out those old cd's, cassette tapes, records, maybe even an 8-track tape or two (the upbeat ones, not the sappy ones) and Dance around the house.
About six months ago, one of our daughters was having a really tough time. She found a Michael Jackson's Greatest Hits cd in the Discount Bargain bin at Wal-Mart for $5.00 (Beat It, Billie Jean, Thriller, you know the good songs before he went into the "freaky stage" etc.) Brought it up to the house and her, my AH, her 3 yr old son and I all danced around the house like we belonged on MTV or American Bandstand for us older people.
We had a blast. Great memories, great exercies, great fun.
Oh yeah, rule 1: No one is allowed to make fun of anyone's dancing technique!!
Or you can have "Hamburger Helper al a Fine China" Night - Get out your best dishes, candles and eat supper by candlelight. Soft music in the background adds a nice tough. Also you can "dress-up" in your best outfit - why do we always think we have to save it for something special.
Adventure Picnic - Peanut Butter Sandwiches to go and have a picnic in the backyard. You can always put some water in a baby pool to cool off if needed.
Make a GOD poster. Take old magazines and cut out words, pictures, features that you would like your HP to have. Paste them on a poster board. Also, if you have children. Take a bunch of old pictures and make a collage, cutting out their faces, pets, friends, etc. - you can use a poster board, part of a cardboard box, or an old wall calendar.
And one of my most favorite relaxing things to do - Color - usually at Garage Sales, you can find partially used color books, pencil colors, markers, etc. for under a $1 - helps me relax and forget about the stresses of the day.
Tons of great suggestions by everyone - I'm excited about me time!!
Peace, Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
I like going to the public pool with the kids. It's only like $3.00 for an adult and you can usually scrap up that kind of change and the sun makes you feel refreshed. I also like to call friends and borrow movies which takes my mind off of things and puts me in another world. I like to borrow books or go to the goodwill and find a good old book for .99 cents (that reminds me...... WHY is there not a cents sign on the computer???? I'll also find something in the house that needs my attention like rearranging the bathroom linen closet. I'll ask my friend to watch her baby and cuddle up with him and play, that usually brightens by day. I like to write letters to friends that don't have emails. I love to get on the computer and pretend shop at Tiffany's and Macy's...lol Hope these help. I'm with you, I have to watch for buying gas even. I live on a Cape and they nickel and dime you for everything! I keep trying to talk ahsober to moving up north.
This may fall into the silly category, but when I am feeling a lack of something, or I want to incorporate a value that I don't have. I go through magazines and whatever picture inspires me I make a vision board out of. For instance one thing that I am working on now for my body is stronger, more defined muscles. So I look at old magazines and tear out pictures that inspire me, then I hang it up. I did the same thing when I wanted to be a better mother. I choose pictures that inspired me, and paste them together, and hang them up. Then I have something to meditate on, it's one way that I take care of me.
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