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Just gotta put this into words, because for the life of me I can't see the sense in it. My 10yr daughter was unable to get a hold of her dad by phone tonite. She started calling him around 6:30. She was offered some free tickets to a baseball game this next weekend and she wanted to discuss the possibility of going. When he didn't answer, she got upset because she needed to let her teacher know in the morning, thus she attempted to keep calling and leave messages. After two messages I took the phone from her and sent her for a bike ride. She even wanted me to drive her by his apt to see if he was there! Shoot, she's got the a wife persona down. Yikes! He ended up calling around 7:50 and they arranged for her to spend the night. He said he'd been at the grocery store with his phone off and said he'd come by after running some errands. She calls again around 8:50 and he is leaving the post office (?) Gets to our house a little after 9:00.
Okay, so now you are all probably wondering what my problem is, and ya know what? I am too! I started obsessing about where he was, hoping it was an AA meeting but knowing it wasn't. Afraid he is back talking/meeting with his "girlfriend" that was in the picture before rehab and that she is getting him into this large group awareness brain washing scheme she's involved in. I got all worked up over nothing. Why? When he got to the house he said he had spent over an hour playing golf, so that answers much of the mystery, but the post office.? Who cares? Apparently I do, but why? I did resist the urge to smell him to detect any sign of drinking. Thank goodness for that victory. I guess I just need to chalk it all up to insanity and confirmation as to why I need to keep coming back!
Lou
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
takes one to know one. lol You sound perfectly abnormal to me!
You are doing fine. See how you realized what you were doing and stopped at sniffing him...?
Sometimes instead of asking why, ask what makes me do that?
Actually does it matter why you think these things? Ya just do. In my experience i stopped asking why or what. I love my AH, that is the way it is. I don't have to explain it to anyone.
Actually any normal person would be curious. YOU care for petes sake. He is or was someone you love.
Sometimes i think the horribleness of it all, we find it hard to really believe it is happening.
Anyway yep you are just one of many of the MIP can of nuts.
I have to make a confession -- everyone here? shh... we're all a little nuts... {disclaimer} except for anyone who is offended by me saying they are a little nuts {disclaimer} (they are a lot nuts)
anyhoo - progress is what I strive for in the search of serenity in my life. your words look like, smell like, taste like, and feel like progress --- therefore, etc etc etc.
Keep up the excellent work,
God grant me the serenity to ACCEPT the things I CANNOT CHANGE courage to CHANGE the things I CAN and sanity to know the DIFFERENCE!
with love cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
I just wanted to give you a big hug. Who would want to be sane anyway? Those people are boring! We, at least, have depth and character and incredible senses of humor. When I forget to laugh ( like my post yesterday) then I really hurt. So, think of the ridculous, the irony, the sillyness. Laugh at him or yourself or the guy you see trip on the sidewalk and look back as if there is something he tripped over when we know there is nothing there. And have a good laugh, or a little laugh, or just a smile if you can manage it. What's this life about if it's all about the sadness and disease. Laugh, hon. It will get better, I promise, for all of us.
Hey now.... I take pride in being nuts CJ! lol This is where you might want to try the detachment exercises and stop caring where he's at. I know why it bothers you. Because you HATE a lier. You hate to be played like a fool and us mothers get very defensive when they lie to our little one's. At least your seeing what is bothering you and you can work on yourself to change that. You were very smart to send the little one on a bike ride. Keep up the good work.
I was actually going to say, No doesn't sound nuts to me. Sounds like you're trying to control the situation. Which I have done. I'm not good at it. And whenever I try to do it, Yeah it blows up in my face. No, it doesn't sound like you're anything short of, ready?, normal. People who don't communicate have trouble WITH communication. You're normal!
Hmmmm why do we do the things we do and think the things we think??? If I knew that I could make a fortune and cure all the "nutty" people!!! Now mind you I'm probably a bit of a chaos junkie but seriously in recovery from that! I rarely find it exciting anymore just more of an annoyance. I do the same thing whenever I'm around my husband. I think just thinking about it is what's important...why did I do that? why do I care? can I not do it next time? is this worth the stress I get from it? etc? etc?
