The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
At times I find myself over-reacting to the things that happen with my addict/ alcoholic husband. The things he says or doesn't say, the things he does, or doesn't do. When will I learn to "Let go and Let God" ? Last night at my home group Al-Anon meeting the topic was detatchment and I learned alot from an elder member. WHen I heard her talk it sounded so much like myself! It was amazing to see the likeness in stories. Anyway, applying the steps is a definite learning experience for me and changing my ways of thinking and reacting to my husband are beneficial for sure. I am already seeing a change.
Life will look up, and I look forward to seeing the mountain tops ! God Bless to all.
When I first came to the program one thing that helped me was for a member to share that... when in doubt, try doing the opposite of what you had always done.
Things like "let go and let God", "how important is it" and detatchment with love all take time and practice. Thats where the slogan "progress not perfection" comes in for me. I won't do everything right, whatever that is, but if I keep trying, keep reading, keep going to meetings I will get better at it.
Keep sight on that mountain, just don't be upset if you can't leap it in a single bound!
Take care of you!
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
I sure relate to your post. When I started out I wanted to get this program right and I wanted results now. I use to get pretty bummed with myself when I didn't. Now I look at these little slips as learning experiences. What was the trigger, What could I have done differently. What could I do next time this situation comes up. I forgive myself by remembering I am human. Perfect and human do not go together. I also try to remember I have alot more practice at overreacting than detaching. It all takes time and patience. You are trying, be gentle with yourself. I love to tell myself Alanon is a journey not a destination, enjoy!
One day at a time is how we learn. When I first came to Al-Anon. I was depressed and felt that my life was as hopeless as it could be. The mountain looked so big and there I was at the bottom of it. I began to climb up the mountain at the first Al-Anon meeting that I attended. Then slowly, one day at a time, I found myself going up the mountain instead of around the bottom of it time after time.
I learned how to detach - very roughly at first, then most of the time in love. I'm a slow learner, but I heard in the meetings that if I kept coming back, I would get the help I needed.
I learned "easy does it" so I was gentler with myself and knew that that it couldn't all happen in one meeting. I learned that I must read as many books and literature as I could. My HP became more precious to me and I'm still learning to trust my HP more.
It helped when I accepted that alcoholism was a disease so I have a lot more compassion for all A's than I had in the beginning.
There's so much to the program, but for me, it all goes back to "one day at a time" and the Serenity Prayer.
You've started up the mountain and you'll go higher and higher.
