The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi, my name is Allison, and im new here, i started going to the al anon group meetings not too long ago and found it to be a haven, and the only thing that kept my sanity. Before, i was a total enabler, picking up my mothers peices, putting her to bed, taking her keys, listening and believing her sob stories, visiting her at all her treatment centers, only to watch her falter a few months later. Just last wk sh e went on a few day drinking binge, being brought homeby the police once and even brought to the hosp, when a bus driver found her passed out in a ditch at noon. THey wouldnt commit her, the detox center was full and the treatment program told her she had to wait 2 wks, i was affraid she was gonna take her life or someone elses, i was like I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING....then i went back to a Al ANon meeting,,,,and i knew ID DONE ENOUGH...even tho shes been sober for 4 days, i dont call her off the hook asking her if shes been drinking, thats her bu siness, i am trying hard to not worry and get too many high expectations, i will love her, but i wont stick by her, im keeping a minimal distance. I do hope one day she quits this deasease for life, but in the mean time, its time for me, to take care of MYSELF, im the daughter not the mother, and thats what im doing here....its for me
Just remember that you can't fix whats wrong with her just yourself. I have tried everything to get my a sober. Recently I had to remove myself from him because its killing me to watch him kill himself. Do you want to die? I think not ! When we stop doing things for them, they start doing for themselves.. Step back and let God do his job. Its hard but keep going to meeting and find you a sponsor.
Sounds like you are on the right path with some pretty sound thinking rather than hooping it up with the insanity. Also looks like your stretch found some compassion and understanding by another member of the family. Good choice!! I read Steps 1 to 3 in your post. Do you know what they refer to and do you have Al-Anon literature? Have you picked up stuff from your Mom's rehab visits and therapy? I also read that you are on the threshold of the Serenity Prayer. Great place to start and this is a good place to keep coming back to. Listen and learn and take the suggestions. It will save your sanity and maybe even your life. (((((Hugs)))))
Welcome Allison. This board is full of great information, and great great compassion. Sounds like you are doing well taking care of you, so keep up the good work. Hope to see a lot of you!!!
Welcome....Seems to me you are going in the right direction...
One of the hardest things in our life is to learn to stop enabling people...
We are all responsible our own wellbeing....Some of us make it harder than others. Just you stand back and observe from a distance, be there fro her, and TRY to let her Higher Power show her the road to take....
Your Higher Power has directed you to Al-Anon....let it work for you..
Hey It's actually "FUN",,, Do you remember that word...
Hi Allison and welcome to MIP. Glad to have you here. Yep, the thing you need to do is take care of Allison, and you seem to have that idea down pat.
You will find lots of caring, genuine people here who are struggling with you, and understand. Once in a while we may have a difference of opinion or two amongst us, but the love and concern is always present. COme back often. We'll look for you.
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Welcome to MIP Allison, Glad you found us. Sounds like you are on your way. Doing something for you. If you can find a face to face meeting in your area I would suggest giving it a try. Know we do understand. Our stories may have differences but we all share that we have been affected by the disease. Keep taking care of you.....glad you are here. Hope to see you again.
Wow, I am so sorry you are going through this. You don't have to ask her if she's been drinking but I would call her everyday to say "hi, I was thinking about you and I'm really proud of you". I saw my best friend die from this disease and the one thing I regret most is that I know I could have been there more for her feelings, she was still human. I know I could not have saved her but I could have let her know her worth. I hope your mom makes it another day sober. I'm glad your here. Keep coming back.
