The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
At times, I confuse being recovered with being made of TEFLON--things should just slide off me or STEEL--hurtful things shouldn't hurt me. LOL. I recently realized that I was so focused on proving to myself and other people that I was RECOVERED--that it equated to--SEE I AM TOTALLY OVER XYZ UPSETTING SITUATION. I have had to remind myself that while I do not need to WALLOW or deepen my OWN PAIN, FEELING MY FEELINGS--sadness, lonliness, grief, anger, even happiness is essential to my healing. What has worked for me is to let the feelings in, to acknowledge my feelings, and then to move on to some healthy recovery behavior, like taking care of myself or taking care of business.
I have slowly realized that when I have unrealistic expectations for my recovery--when I try to make myself be TEFLON or STEEL--to just GET OVER A SITUATION--it's then that I start to obsess over what I can not control. When I let my feelings in and let them be a natural and organic part of the situation--VOILA! my obsessing disappears. It's taken me a whole year to realize that I start to obsess when I have not given myself enough avenues to cope with my feelings (i.e. journaling, exercising, tuning in to myself, etc.). It's o.k. to hurt, it's o.k. to miss someone I have loved and lost...the trick is to find a new way to cope that does not exasperate the pain I am already feeling, and helps me deal with my feelings and heal.
I just listened to Joe and Charlie's AA Big Book tapes. I think what they are saying is that when you truly work the 12 steps you don't have to be made of teflon to cope. That it will just be there for you. So I guess it's that focus on self and removing the defects of character and being right with our HP's. For so many years I have prayed for inner peace and now I think that I am close to an answer.
I always enjoy your posts. I like that you journal and exercise too.
just want to give ya a BiGHuGhug ((Bluecloud))) .....there are for sure more and more avenues. choices.
i know with some courage to change the things i can... the wisdom to know the difference how can i loose? i just cant. cause i know HP / Gods going to help me every step of the way. this wonderful family of alanon hope and some ... alot more today its faith . i have faith in tomorrow being a good day because "i" choose to . i know i am loved too.
HP/God loves me. i love me too. thanks for posting, BlueCloud.
Workin' iT ~!~ Your Worth IT ~!~
(((BlueCloud))))) keep looking uP keep moving forward let go and let god keep it simple turnitover one day at a time.
hello cloud, sorry your hurting , I believe that life occasonally throws us curves , doesnt mean were not going to get hurt but it doesn't ahve to devistate me like it would in the past . I feel it and heal it . (hugs)
how can i loose? i just cant. cause i know HP / Gods going to help me every step of the way. this wonderful family of alanon hope and some ... alot more today its faith . i have faith in tomorrow being a good day because "i" choose to . i know i am loved too. 
one day at a time.